and again i find you - nomin

kissing him

A few days go by in which Jaemin continued his sufferings, muddled with starstruck ideas of love and having half a mind to just blurt them out. But his situation was rather odd, what with Jeno staying with them.

In the almost week he'd been there, Jaemin was always noticing more things about Jeno, the little things. He noticed the way his cheeks puffed up whenever he ate. He noticed that after hours of writing, he would wiggle his fingers and bend his wrist back to ease some tension. When he laughed, he liked to bite his lip and that one drove Jaemin crazy, eyes always finding their way to his lips anyway. He was starting to wonder how soft they were, the pink always so inviting.

But again, Jaemin was left in a stupor, not wanting to make things weirder than they already were. He felt like he was always being weird, always trying to avoid Jeno's touch even though it was the one thing he really wanted. He was scared that if he came too close, he might just pull Jeno in and kiss his face off.

So he sat with his hands under his bottom while Jeno laughed at the movie that was playing. He was right beside him, shoulders brushing every once in a while. Jaemin felt like he was losing his mind, hands desperately wanting to break free and engulf Jeno in a hug. But he stayed firm, trying as hard as he could to focus on the movie that was playing. It was a lost cause really, eyes eventually shifting so he was solely staring at Jeno, at the way he lit up and the way he seemed so relaxed. He had no idea that he made Jaemin mad, mad with the need to say all his feelings.

"Hey Jaemin?" Jeno suddenly said, heading turning to meet Jaemin's eyes. Jaemin was quick to drop his head, pink filling his cheeks too fast.

"Y-yeah." Jaemin stuttered, cringing at the way he was acting .

"Do you remember Min Yoojin?" Jaemin racked his brain, trying to conjure up the image of said person.

"The girl who used to claim I was her boyfriend back in grade school?" Jeno nodded, hands playing with a throw pillow. "What about her?"

"I never told you back then, but she was the reason we had our first fight." Jaemin was perplexed.

"She was? I can't even remember us fighting?" He really couldn't. He and Jeno had always been on a good terms or as far as he remembered. But Jeno was sitting here, looking like a sad little boy as he recounted the past.

"Well it was a stupid fight, really." Jeno was slow with his words, as if struggling to say something else. "But- but it was when I realized something." Jaemin looked at him expectantly. "It um- it was when I realized I didn't like girls." Jaemin's jaw dropped.

"Wait, what-"

"Boys! Dinner has arrived!" Jaemin's mother burst through the door, Jeno taking this opportunity to escape and help her with her bags. Jaemin stared at the boy from the couch, brain working a mile a minute. Did Jeno just- no, no it couldn't be. Jeno couldn't be admitting to what Jaemin thought he was. Because if that were true- Jaemin had to take a deep breath. "Jaemin, don't let the guest do all the work, come over here and help!" His mother beckoned, already washing her hands in the kitchen. Jaemin entered with a wired heart, glancing to Jeno who was busy rummaging the drawers. He went beside him, determined to ask him more, but he squeaked and ran over to Jaemin's mother asking if there was something else he could do. Jaemin saw the boy he do years ago, shying away because he was nervous. Jaemin was nervous too.

Dinner was silent, Jaemin's mother not noticing the elephant in the room. To be fair, she had no idea what the boys had been taking about prior to her entrance, but she was trying her best to get them both to talk.

"How's school for you Jeno? Classes going well? I bet you're doing better than Jaemin, he's having a hard time with calculus." Jaemin only humphed, still in his own mind about earlier.

"School is fine. You know, I could always help Jaemin." That peaked his interest, Jaemin looking over at the boy. "If he's having a hard time, I can tutor him." His mother smiled wide.

"That would be wonderful, you guys could start as soon as we finish dinner." And there it was, the set up of a reason for being together. Somehow, this confused Jaemin. Wasn't Jeno avoiding him? Why was he suddenly offering to tutor him?

No matter the case, Jaemin found himself beside Jeno again, books sprawled on the coffee table. He had his notebook with him and Jeno was telling him how to find derivatives, but Jaemin wasn't really paying attention. His attention was drawn to the hand that was splayed on his thigh, Jeno nonchalantly explaining the constant rule and what it's symbol was. Jaemin didn't understand how he could be so calm, nor why he was touching him. Jeno didn't really have a reason to be touching him, but he was. His hand was just there, just pressing against Jaemin's thigh and the heat was seeping through. Jaemin wanted to faint.

"About earlier..." Jeno's voice was right in his ear, still so faint even with the proximity. "I should explain... I figured out I don't like girls because- because she was the one I was jealous of." Something about those words triggered a flashback, Jaemin finally remembering that fight.

"Jeno, don't be silly. Yoojin won't replace you." Jaemin had tried to explain. He saw the hurt on Jeno's face and he knew his friend was upset with him.

"But you spend all your time with her." Jeno countered, looking just about ready to cry. Jeno was sad that his friend was sad.

"It's just because she's a girl and if I say no she'll cry." Jeno seemed frustrated.

"But I don't like when you spend time with her ." Jaemin felt himself frown.

"Why?" Jeno had no answer and Jaemin almost wanted to scream, to demand an answer, but then it dawned on him.

"If you like her, I won't spend time with her anymore." He assumed that was the case and Jeno hadn't denied it then, so he figured it was true and moved on.

Now, here he was, being told by Jeno that he wasn't jealous of Jaemin with Yoojin but vice versa. He didn't know what to say.

"I- uh-"

"Please don't hate me!" He was suddenly exclaiming, both his hands going to cover his face. "I never thought I'd be telling you this, but I can't help it anymore, I've liked you for so long." The confession was startling to say the least, more so because Jaemin thought he was the only one with such feelings. Jaemin didn't like seeing Jeno so at odds so he took his hands, Jeno regarding him with the softest of looks. Jaemin smiled patiently, the patience more for himself than Jeno. He wanted to do this right.

"I could never hate you Jeno." He sighed, the hint of a smile on his lips. "In fact, I may just like you more than you think." Jeno seemed confused, eyes boring into Jaemin's with such intensity. Jaemin really couldn't take it anymore. He leaned in, forgetting that his mother was just in the other room, that they were in plain sight. He just really, really wanted to kiss Jeno.

When their lips met, Jeno squeaked, Jaemin giggling at the sound. He pulled away to see an embarrassed Jeno, Jaemin's hand going to pinch his cheek. Jeno pouted, yet he looked even cuter so Jaemin leaned in again, catching those pouty lips with his own. Jeno was ready then, kissing back with such ease that Jaemin melted, hands fitting themselves along his neck and pulling him closer. They fell back, Jeno resting on top of Jaemin, a sweet smile on his lips. "We really should get back to homework." He hummed, nosing along Jaemin's cheek. Jaemin snorted, pushing him off and standing up.

"I'm actually really tired." He put on a show, arm stretching so high, he was sure some of his midriff was visible. Jeno rolled his eyes, looking back to the textbook. "I think I'll turn in for the night." And off he went, a chuckle quietly escaping when he heard Jeno running after him, homework forgotten.