A Dragon Raised Snow

Chapter 2 - Ned

Ned

Ned had thought about this all night and could not seem to relieve himself of the constant nagging of his conscious. How was he supposed to tell Jon the truth then send him away to the wall? He knew it was the best choice and the wall could bring a man honour and he also knew that Jon had an interest in the wall. Every time Benjen came to visit he and Jon would talk for hours about the wall. What Benjen did on his last exploration north of the wall. But he just couldn't get the thought out of his head, that he was doing the wrong thing for the boy. What shall be done Lyanna? He tried to think about what she would do but it didn't help he knew she would want what the best for the boy and wouldn't let him rot away at the wall. If Jon went to the wall he knew he would be out of the reach of Robert and he couldn't hurt him. But the wall was full of murderers and rapist and was a dangerous place Benjen had said so himself.

The next day he broke fast with his family and his wife but the boys where missing he assumed they were out in the yard sparring. He asked Cat to come with him for a walk and they ended up on the balcony that overlooked the courtyard. He saw Bran, Rickon, Robb, Theon and Jon there and they where helping Bran with his archery skills. Bran missed and the yard broke out in a fit of laughter so Ned defended the boy.

"Jon could I speak with you in my study" He knew it was now or never and that he couldn't put it off. He could tell that the boy was a little caught off guard but complied anyway.

"Of course Lord Stark" He didn't like it when Jon would call him that and he knew he only did it for Cat sake. Ehich was fair but it didn't mean it was right for Cat to treat him so. He knew of the mean comments muttered under her breath towards him and how she would not include him in family affairs. Which was her choice and he wouldn't hold it against her. The boy was his bastard to everyone and there was nothing that could be said to remedy her pain without telling her the truth and that could change everything.

"Why do you want to speak with him?" She asked, he sighed and closed his eyes trying to ignore the nagging voice in his head.

"I need to speak to him." He retorted turning to her, she was suspicious and also a little angry by him. He didn't need to explain himself and he didn't want too, she deserved to know but he couldn't tell her.

"What is it, Ned?" She asked, she knew he was hiding something but still he couldn't allow himself to let on there is anything going on.

"It is about the Nights watch." He lied, he winced on the inside at the thought of lying to his wife again. She nodded and looked away from him, he couldn't tell if she believed him or not but he didn't care, he needed to get to his study to wait for his son and prepare what he was going to say.

...

Watching the boy leave was hard, he was mad he could tell by the way he clenched his fist and tensed his jaw. Ned let his head fall into his hands, taking a deep breathe as he tried to sort the situation in his mind. He had told him and Ashara was right, he resented him for lying but it was the right thing to do.

He sank into his seat trying to get a little quiet before he had to go out to his people and to his family, he rubbed his hands over his face. "What have I done?" He whispered shaking his head, he took another deep breath and opened his eyes. He looked down to his draw.

The draw that held his most precious and secret letters, the draw only he held the key too. He took out the letter that was on the top of the pile the one he had last read. It was the last letter he received from Ashara a few days after he had left Starfall. He had read it, what, a hundred times and he was about to make it a hundred and one.

My dearest Ned,

I hope you and Jon made it home safely and you are both happy, with your new wife and Jon with his new home. Give him a kiss from me and tell him when he is of age that I will see him soon and I hope to see him with Dawn on his hip and with the ability to use as Arthur would have wanted him too.