PART 12
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Alex walks out after Austin. You're still staring at the doorway. Why the hell am I so stupid!? You think. How could you do this to him. Youve been dreaming of being his girlfriend since ShootUsDown and you just threw it all away for another guy that you'd much rather have as a friend. Your jaw stays hanging opened. Ready for words to come but they never do.
Robert- 'Im so sorry. This is all my fault.'
You- 'I-I-Its okay...'
you stand up and walk away. When you walk outside you see Alex.
You- 'where is he?'
Alex- 'umm.. Not sure..'
You- 'Alex don't play dumb I know you know.'
Alex- 'no I dont.'
You- 'fine I'll find him myself' you try to walk past him but he blocks your way.
You- 'Alex move.'
Alex-'yourname, I don't think that's such a good idea...'
You try to move past him again. No use. You stop and stare at him then when he least expected it ran around him. What do you see? Austin kissing another girl. Damn. That stings. He moves on fast. Your knees feel abnormally weak. You try to talk but once again nothing comes out. You run into Alex's house into his room and slam the door.
Robert- 'what's going o-' you just jump into his arms and burry your head in his chest.
Robert- 'baby.. what happened?!' you try to catch your breath before talking.
You- 'he was kissing another girl..' you look him in the eyes. He hugs you really tight. You felt so safe in his arms. Your troubles seemed to slowly fade. You look up and kiss Robert on the lips. Just a light peck. He kisses back. You kiss for about two minutes. You stop, he kisses you on the cheek and wipes your tears.
Robert- 'you're too beautiful to be crying.' you smile at that and hug him again. Your heads in his chest again when you hear the door fly open really fast. You don't want to look up in case it's Austin. Robert squeezes you really tight which tells you it is. You burry your head deeper in. He cleans up the sonic packs his bag and puts it into the bag. You sit in Roberts strong safe arms the whole time, watching his anger. He comes back up.
Austin- 'come on (YN) were going home.'
You- 'i-I-I though we were spending the ni-'
Austin- 'were going home. Now.' you squeeze Robert get up and Austin drives you home. Not a word the whole time. You sat in the front, he drove. You hid your face the whole ride when you got home you ran to Luke's room and cried your heart out under the covers.
You look at your wrists. Should I? I don't see why not. It's not like I have motivation not too.. Razors.. Razors... Where are they? OH! Luggage. Where is that?? Austin's room.. Shit. Luke! He shaves! Maybe he'll have one! You go into his luggage and find a bag. YES! You rip it opened and take one. You run to the bathroom and lock the door. Cut. Blood. Aghh. The pain helps so much. Cut. Blood. Pain. You finish with 6 cuts. Blood in a puddle. And a hell of a lot of pain. The good pain. The releiving pain. You clean the floor spotless and spray air freshener so it doesn't smell like blood. Your wrist stop bleeding. You look at the cuts, satisfied. People might say losing your boyfriend isn't a big deal, you agree. The thing is you also just lost your idol. Your inspiration. No song could cure this pain. You walk out of the bathroom pulling your sleeves over the cuts. Luke's sitting on the bed.
You- 'AH! Oh shit. You scared me! How long have you been out here? Well.. You can use the bathroom now. Bye.' you try to walk away but he grabs yor wrist. Ouch! You flinch.
You- 'what do you want!?'
Luke- 'your eyes are red. Why were you crying?'
You- 'me and austin broke up. I don't really feel like playing 20 questions so if you could..' you look at your wrist and he let's go.
Luke- 'wait. Stay. Come here.' you walk to his direction and sit on the bed. You feel the blood seeping through the sweatshirt. He better make this fast. He holds up the bag of razors and looks at you disappointedly.
You- 'what?!'
Luke- 'I didn't open this, Austin didn't open this, Dave didn't open this. Do you have any idea who did open this?'
You- 'nope. K. Bye.' you try to leave but he motions you back to the bed.
Luke- 'take off the sweatshirt.'
You- 'i.. I dont have anything under.'
Luke- 'then how come I can see your tank top..?' you look down. He repeats himself. 'take off the sweatshirt.'
You look at him scared but do as he says. You take off the sweatshirt and cover your wrist. He kneels next to you. He grabs the sweatshirt. You flinch. He looks into your eyes and picks it up. He gasps and looks as if he might cry.
You- 'L-L-Lu-Luke.. I'm sorry..' you start crying yor eyes out into his shoulder and he just holds you.
Luke- 'how many times have we talked about this.'
You- 'a lot..'
Luke- 'a lot. So why did you do it? Last time you wanted to all you did was talk to me and the feelings went away. Why didn't you talk to me?' the concern in his eyes is painful. Bad painful. Terrible painful.
You- 'you weren't home..'
Luke- 'I don't care. Not one bit. I would've came for you.' He sits next to you on the bed then continues 'I'm always here for you. I love you till my last breath. YN you know how much I hate this. It tears me apart.' you hug him and he kisses your forehead.
You- 'I love you Luke.'
Luke- 'I love you too.'
With that you were kissing your best friend again. It felt right. He cleaned your arms and bandaged them once everyone went to bed. You guys didn't eat dinner, both lost your appetites. You just talked. You felt good. You were once again falling asleep in your best friend's big, strong, warm arms.
