Single daddy

the help

Jungkook pov

Its been a few weeks and after Jin offered to help with (y/n) things have been going slightly better.i started to go back to work and every time I step in the parlor I felt like my old self again, but then the moment I hit my apartment, I feel so dead inside.

It was around 11 at night and I'm cleaning up the shop, when Namjoon came over to me and put in hand on my shoulder. " hey you know you can go home, I will finish up here, it's fine." he said while taking the broom from my hands but I didn't want to go home.

" no, it's okay hung I can help around if you want I can take out the trash and book all the appointments for tomorrow," I said then he gave me a serious look then put done the broom.

" what wrong?" he asked me, then anxiety hit me. didn't know what to say. I started to think what could I say but all I could think of is just not coming home.

" nothing, hung I think it is time for me to go," I said while grabbing my jacket and walked out of the shop. during the walk home I looked around and I felt like everything was in slow motion, but then I saw the busy traffic next to me. then I started to think... what would happen if I walked closer to the traffic.

when I got to my apartment I walked over to Jin's door to knocked but the door opened and I saw Jin smiling happily as hell. "  she been a good girl all day today no fussing or anything" he said and walked over and handed (y/n) and then her diaper bag.

later that night~

(y/n) was finally asleep and I actually had time for my self so took a bath. I was just sitting in there and for a moment everything felt so peaceful for once... no sound just the tap going off with small drops of water. I can feel myself sliding against the tub, my body emerging with water as if I was slowly being sucked in.   

my head goes under the water and it feels nice in some weird way... like if everything was slowly going away and my problems were disappearing too. I was losing oxygen but I wasn't fitting or anything I was just letting it happen..until I heard (y/n) screaming her lungs off that's when I lifted my head and looked around to my surroundings to see I'm still in the same broken and lonely place.

" fucken hell.." I said then splashed the water in frustration then I got up and dried off and changed to go attend (y/n).

it's going to be along night

a few months later~

" she is looking really good, Mr. Jeon," the nurse said while doing (y/n) checkups I was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, all I did was hum to everything she would say. then when the visit was over I took (y/n) home. she was sleeping the whole ride lucky it gave me a chance to do some work.

l"lately I've been feeling really down hung and I don't know why," I said to Nam Joon who was sitting down on the couch, taking a sip out of his beer. " what do you mean about feeling down? like you are getting depresses or something?" he asked and I looked away. I didn't know what to say; nor did I want too but I need to get it out of my chest.

" lately... I've been feeling really numb like what I'm doing right now doesn't matter or not enough for (y/n), it's like I want to disappear or runaway, hell I sometimes fantasize about me being in an accident so I won't have to be a parent for a moment" i said while looking at the t.v id didn't want to look at NamJoon, he looked at me then pulled out his phone and started to text someone then looked at me.

"I made an appointment for you to see my friend is a very good therapist," he said and gave me his number and the appointment date. " I don't know hung... like what is a therapist going to do," I said kinda worried I don't want a random person to judge me. " I don't know but at least give it a shot and if you don't like it then you don't have to go back" he looked at me giving me a reassuring smile; " fine I will do it but only once," I said knowing I'm going to regret it later.

skip time~

Jungkooks POV

I was walking down to where I would see the therapist and for some reason, I was nervous ass hell.

when I got there it was a.... fucken preschool? like the hell?

I was standing outside a bright colorful building.

I knew I was at the wrong place so I started to walk away until I heard the door open and then I heard the door open and I saw this awfully looking happy dude waving at me. he had a big ass smile and had a colorful outfit on. 

" you must be jungkook! my name is Hoseok but you can call me J-hope" he said in a very cheery voice and all I did was smile awkwardly.

I went inside and sat down on a couch that had a smiley face on it.

" so namjoon texted me saying you could be experiencing depression?" he said while sitting on a bean bag with a note pad.

"I mean yeah I guess something like that," I said while leaning my back on the couch looking at him.

j-hope wrote a few things on his note paid.

" Okay kook tell me about yourself" he stated and I just scoffed.

" my name is jeon jungkook, I was born in-" j-hope interrupted. " that's not what I'm looking for I don't care where you were born or any about that stuff, tell me about you," he said.

I try to think then started to speak " im jungkook, I'm a tattoo artist in training, I have a bad temper and I have an 8-month-old daughter," I said then looked at j- hope. he was studying me for a second.

" wheres your daughter now?" he asked.

" at home, with Jin, he's her baby sitter," I said, and he hummed and nod his head while writing on his pad.

" how long does he sit her for?"

" About 12 hours in a day" I replay

he just looked at me then nodded. then looked at his pad then looked at me 

" so how do you feel when you leave her with the sitter and about to leave to go to work?" he asked me.

"I kinda feel relieved...like in a way I don't feel good about it... but I don't know I feel almost free and I don't have responsibility almost," I said almost feeling kinda bad for what im saying.

he nodded " well what about the moment you leave work to pick her up, what are you feeling"

I sighed getting really annoyed with all these questions.

"I don't really know man, all I know is that I don't feel connected to my daughter I don't fucken understand why!" I raise. j-hope looked at me then asked me more questions.

" when you get home and you're alone with your baby what do you feel?" Idk why but that question really annoyed me when I got up and about to walk the door.

" wait, jungkook we need to talk about this," he said while putting this notebook down and pen but I ignore him and walked out.

I don't need this crap.