russian roulette → fivesauce

0.5

ella (again holla)

 

amy’s scream echoed around the room.

 he’s alive he’s alive he’s alive.

despite the definite blood i felt on the side of my face, i knew he was alive.

he’s alive he’s alive.

despite his grip weakening from my hand, i knew he was alive.

he’s alive he’s alive.

he had to be alive.  i wasn’t ready to go either.

i squeezed michael’s hand, my eyes still shut. his hand was still warm.

“squeeze back, squeeze back,” i pleaded in a whisper.

“squeeze back squeeze,” my tone got louder.

“michael baby squeeze my hand,” i shouted, tears furiously rushing down my face as i refused to open my eyes. my life was already dark without him - no use covering it up.

i squeezed michael’s hands as sobs racked through my body. i felt luke out his arm around my shoulder, comforting me in a way. but what comfort is there when the reason i smile is dead?

sobs continued to rake through my body, and i could hear the same coming from the group. i didn’t dare look, my eyes remaining squeezed shut.

i knew what i had to do. i needed to see him again, and i wouldn’t wait for the gun to land on me to do it.

“luke,” i croaked. sniffles were my only reply.

“luke.” i raised my voice.

“what?” he croaked out. with my other hand i wiped the sticky tears off my face and took in a deep breath.

“pass me the gun.”

“no.”

“fucking do it luke.” i knew i scared him into getting it for me. i felt him lean over me and seconds later, the gun was in my palm.

“isabelle,” all i needed was a bullet and i’d be set.

a questioning hum was my answer.

“pass me a bullet, and leave the sarcasm to yourself.” i could almost see her smirk, even with my eyes shut.

i detached my hand from michael’s, immediately missing the feel of his comfort, of him. another sob racked through my body.

“luke load it for me,” i held out my hand which held the gun and bullet.

“i’m not gonna do that ella,” he said. i was sick of his pussyness (is this even a word idk).  he had an excuse for everything.

“i’ll fucking do it then,” i spat out as i did. it was hard, with my eyes shut and all, but i managed to load it. i raised it to my head

“have fun with your sick game isabelle,” i spat out. “see you all on the other side.”

 i took in a deep breath and pulled the trigger, michael’s name being my last thought.

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hey guys.

i just had a panic attack and i feel like shit and this chapter is shitty and im sorry but im really tired but i wanted to get this updat eout for you guys.

smile babys.

ella