Passion for Perfection | Open Novella Contest 2019

13. A Caring Touch

25th December

Sally got me two notebooks for Christmas and said I should start writing things down. I guess it's the least I can do after what I had said to her. Even after all those mean words, she was still the first to visit me in hospital. I don't deserve her.

I will treat this book like my journal. I'll start writing things down that bother me or that I just have to let out. Maybe the other alters will start using it someday?

The other notebook, I've decided to dedicate to poetry. Mother had always encouraged me to write poetry, ever since she had found all those anthologies I had kept hidden in my room. Mel says she'll help me. She has more experience than me after all.

That's all I'm going to write for now. I'm unable to use my left hand, meaning my right gets tired very fast and even this little entry has put enough strain on it to give me cramps. I'll write more when something interesting happens.

~ Jane

———

28th December

You'll never guess who appeared in my hospital room today. It was someone whose presence made my blood run cold and I'm convinced my heart briefly stopped for the second time this week. It was Chris. His features got more angular and his eyes showed wisdom I didn't recognise. It's been so many years, he's probably been through almost as much as I have.

He refused to tell me how he found out where I was and what happened to me. Maybe God had sent him as an apology for what he had done to me. It was very awkward at first but soon enough my heart remembered why we fell in love and I was struck with dismay when he said he wouldn't stay long. He said he just wanted to see if I was alright. Hardly, I told him. Broken bones, fractured bones and dislocated joints. Not only was it a miracle that I was alive, but it was beyond incredible that I hadn't damaged my spine. In fact, the doctor even apparently said I should eventually fully recover. Or maybe that was just Dee trying to make me feel better. I guess I won't know, seeing as I refuse any interactions with any doctors. Dee says it will be a while before her job as an alter is complete.

Chris grabbed his stuff and said he should get going, seeing as I probably hate him. I started to protest but I knew the words wouldn't come out right so I let it go. Mel also said that Chris shouldn't stay in my life. He would just be a constant reminder of my past mistakes and I had to agree.

I am feeling much better though. Perhaps Dee was right.

~ Jane

———

2nd January

Ethan arrived on New Year's Day, giving me a pleasant surprise. He, on the other hand, got a less pleasant one, considering the fact he found me in a hospital, unable to leave my bed. I expected him to be mad but all he kept repeating is how glad he was that I was still alive. It was... something I needed to hear.

Also, I was told that they will be putting off mother's funeral until I'm well enough to be there. I'm not sure if I deserve the kind gesture.

~ Jane

———

9th January

More people arrived today. I was surprised to see most of my coworkers had turned up to wish me a fast recovery. Jenkins, Donna, Anne, they all came! Even that new girl, Mairéad, showed up to show support. You'll never guess what they brought! Balloons and a card! I hate to admit it but I think I teared up a bit. I didn't think they cared that much about me.

~ Jane

———

20th January

I have a lot of time to think nowadays and I've decided I'll start attending church again. I thought faith had abandoned me but here I am. I'm alive, despite my efforts not to be. Maybe that was the sign to get me to live. To not give up. Maybe the past year had been my penance and now I could come out the other side as a new person.

A better person.

~ Jane