Winter's Hearts

Chapter 40

Loki sat up from your embrace and gave you a look that could only be described as 'loving exasperation'. It was followed by a warm, gentle smile. You could see the love and caring in his eyes, but you couldn't remember it, couldn't remember him. And you hated it. You were also bone-numbingly exhausted. "Some things never change, even when you can't remember me or anything of your life, and you are still trying to see to my needs and emotions above your own," he sighed in exasperation and pulled you gently into his arms. He was gentle and careful and you noted why. He may be your husband, but he was a stranger to you at the same time, and you realized that he was trying to make sure you were comfortable with whatever happened between you. He wasn't forcing or expecting a relationship that wasn't there. That you couldn't remember being there.

Though you saw it hurt him to do.

He wanted nothing more than for you to remember him. He wanted his wife back. You could see it in his eyes when he let you go and looked at you again. You saw the heartbreak he was trying to hide in his haunted green eyes. You just wanted to hug him until all the broken pieces were put back together.

Why couldn't you remember him?

Or this place?

Or anything besides that awful pulling sensation and the terrible feeling of something snapping in your mind.

Yet, you knew you could trust Loki. Something, some semblance of memory, of self, promised that you could trust this man. He wasn't lying. Not on this, not on something this important. So while you couldn't remember, you did finally know some things of your life.

You were married to Loki.

You were a Valkyrie of Asgard.

You were Asgardian and had some vague awareness of what that meant.

You were sworn to Loki's service.

Sworn to defend your husband.

Prince of Asgard some lost part of your mind supplied. That would explain why a Valkyrie was assigned to him.

And, of course, no one could protect him as well as you.

You weren't sure where that last thought had come from, but you knew it was true.

The elevator doors behind you dinged, drawing your attention away from your thoughts and to the intruders. You were in your feet in an instant, whirling to face the elevator, daggers in your hands from... somewhere, and in position to defend Loki. You hadn't actively thought about moving. You hadn't made the decision to defend Loki. You had no idea whatsoever where the daggers had come from.

Loki stood slowly as the group of superheroes carefully stepped off the elevator. Loki's cold hands were on yours as he stepped up behind you. "Easy, darling, easy," Loki told you gently. "Those are our friends," he reassured you gently and carefully took the daggers from your hands. You let him, trusting him. He said it was safe, so you had to believe that he was right about these people.

You had to trust him.

Lord of Lies your unhelpful brain supplied. You told it to shut up and let Loki take the daggers, relaxing your stance.

"No change, yet, brother?" The big oaf with the hammer asked. Loki shook his head and gave the other Asgardian, his brother, a look. You translated the look to mean that Loki would tell them more later.

"Kyrie, darling. These are our friends. Except the oaf with the hammer, he's my brother," Loki told you and introduced the others in the room. You saw that they had similar heartbroken expressions and wanted to get out of there. You felt guilty for their emotions, for the fact that they were sad at what had happened to you. It obviously hurt them, and you couldn't remember them, but their pain and heartbreak still hurt you. You wished you could remember them, but you couldn't. You wished you could remember any of them.

You really wished you remembered at least your husband.

Your hand went to your head, staving off the impeding headache from everything. You needed to think, needed to figure out something, anything. "Darling? Are you alright?" Loki asked gently, his arm around your shoulders comfortingly.

"Is there somewhere I can lie down?" You asked him softly.

Loki gave you a soft, gentle, smile, and nodded. "Of course, love. We'll go up to our apartment," he told you gently and led you to the elevator. You went up a few floors and opened the entryway into a huge apartment. He showed you around the living room, kitchen, library, and the two bedrooms. "We usually sleep in this one," he indicated the master bedroom with its huge king-sized bed. "But one of the Valkyrie beds is in here for you," he opened the second bedroom's door. Inside was a comfortable nest-like bed with high pillowed sides. "You occasionally prefer sleeping here since it supports your wings. I don't care for your silly marshmallow bed," he teased and it sounded like such an old teasing that you couldn't help but smile. He was also giving you a valid reason to choose to sleep in the separate bed without thinking you were offending him. He wouldn't force you to sleep in the same bed as a man you didn't remember. Even if he was your husband.

"Thank you," you told him softly, overwhelmed and just wanting to rest and praying you could remember something of your life when you'd gotten some sleep.

He gave you a warm smile. "Anything for you, Kyrie-love. Get some rest. I'll be nearby if you need me," he reassured you. He'd be nearby, but wouldn't pressure you or overpower you. He was taking care of you, no matter how much it broke him to do it when you couldn't remember him.

"Why do you call me that?" You asked him curiously.

It was the wrong thing to ask.

You saw the hurt in his eyes that you didn't remember, though he covered it up quickly. "I have called you Kyrie since we were children," he unknowingly, unrememberingly, or on purpose quoted the same words back to you now that you had told him when he couldn't remember you. Of course you didn't know it at the time. "My Lady Mother used to call you her little Valkyrie so often that I thought your name was Valkyrie for ages, but we were children, so I shortened it to Kyrie. And you've been Kyrie ever since,"

Something flashed, a hint of a memory of a small thin boy with raven black hair.

"Thanks, Lohk," you replied automatically and you saw Loki light up.

Your memories weren't gone, not completely. They were just lost. And any lost thing could be found again. It would just take time and effort.

You would get your memories back.