Do I Really Hate Him? (Lafayette x Reader) [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 5: Confessing to Lafayette

   The rapid thumping of my heartbeat would not go away. I was telling Lafayette that I liked him, who up until an hour or two ago, I thought was my enemy.

   A nagging voice in the back of my mind told me that he would say no, laugh at me even. But my optimism, the little angel sitting on my shoulder, told me otherwise. My optimism and fear were battling each other over who would have the louder voice and what point of view I would believe.

   But I was stuck between the two. I figured they both could happen. I really hoped my optimism was right, but I had no way to tell if it was or not.

   I walked closer and closer to my house, my breathing speeding up the closer I got.

   Finally, after what felt like an eternity of walking, I arrived at my house. My parents were no longer outside, so I assumed they were setting the table for dinner.

   Drawing a shaky breath, I tried to open the door; it was locked. I didn't have a key, so I knocked.

   The one and only Marie Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette opened the door. (I probably missed a name, and I don't care. If I did, there's no need to comment.)

   I wish I could have stopped the blush that appeared on my cheeks. Thankfully, I'm pretty good at acting normal when I'm around my crush.

   "Hey, (Y/N)," Lafayette said in that stupid accent of his. "What's the password?"

   "Password," I answered.

   "Nope. Have fun living on the streets!" he snickered as he attempted to shut the door on me.

   His attempt was a fail. My foot blocked the door, preventing it from shutting all the way.

   With a sigh of what sounded like disappointment, Lafayette opened the door for me again. "Fine. I'll give you another chance. What's the password?"

   "Lafayette's a little shithead," I answered, trying my hardest not to giggle.

   "Hint: it's my name," Lafayette grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

   "Which one?" I smirked.

   "Just come in," Lafayette growled, stepping out of the way so I could enter.

   I then remembered what I had to tell Lafayette. And since he was standing right in front of me, then would've been a good time to tell him.

   I walked in, my cocky attitude disappearing completely. I then shut the door behind me and turned to face Lafayette. I looked up at the Frenchman that was at least half a foot taller than me, my anxiety making me a bit dizzy.

   "What?" Lafayette asked, obviously confused. I don't blame him. I would be too if someone stopped in front of me and started staring at me, not saying a word.

   "Uh...I have to tell you something..," I said, my voice hardly above a whisper.

   Something flashed across Lafayette's features. It looked like...concern..?

   "What is it? Are you all right?" he asked, his voice sounding worried.

   The way his voice sounded and his expression was enough to convince me to follow through. I gulped and said quietly, "Can we go somewhere a little more private..?" If I said what I needed to say right there, my parents might overhear. And then there would be a chance that they would embarrass me, and I did not need that to happen.

   Lafayette nodded as I led him up to my room. I needed to be as far away from my parents as possible during this confession.

   Once we got there, Lafayette immediately said, "Okay, tell me."

   I took a deep breath, trying to banish the raging anxiety that flowed through my body. It was like a hurricane. I then said, with as much strength as I could muster,

   "Lafayette, ever since you moved here, wich was like a few hours ago, but still, I felt different around you. A feeling that I'd never felt before when I've been around you. I wasn't too sure what it was, until you...kissed my hand...I then began to realize what that feeling was. But I went to see Angelica to confirm them."

   "Please tell me where her vacation houss is!" Lafayette said while bouncing up and down. "I need to win her over with my charm!"

   I face-palmed. Was that all he was getting from the story so far?

   "Anyways," I continued, slightly annoyed. "I was right about the feeling I was feeling. It turns out...I like you, Lafayette. More than just as friends..."

   It felt like a guant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I sighed, relieved that I had finished my tale of cliche love.

   Lafayette studied my face, examining me for signs.

   When he didn't talk, I said, "And I was hoping you would feel the same way...and that we could...court..?"

   A few more seconds of silence.

   Then, to my utter dismay, Lafayette started bursting out laughing.

   I felt my heart snap into two. I attempted to speak, but my words got caught in my throat.

   "You actually think I would want to court you?!" Lafayette gasped, still laughing like a madman. "I'm flattered, darling, I really am, but, I'm sorry, nobody would want to date you! I mean, look at you! Why would anybody want you when they can have kind, beautiful girls like the Schuyler sisters? To put it this way, you mean nothing to me. And it will stay that way until I die."

   I tried to hold in my tears, but, despite my efforts, they came pouring down my face, ugly sobs shaking my body. My crush just told me I was unkind and ugly and that I meant nothing to him!

   I thought I saw an expression of regret appear on Lafayette's face, but I wasn't sure, since my vision was blurred due to the tears filling my eyes.

   I didn't give Lafayette a chance to redeem himself. I sprinted downstairs, not caring if Lafayette tried to follow me or not.

   I approached my parents, still sobbing uncontrollably.

   They were setting the dinner table, but immediately stopped what they were doing when they saw how upset I was. They both rushed to my side as I buried my face in my hands, which got soaked with tears almost immediately.

   "(Y/N)? Darling, what happened?" my mom cried, obviously pained by my pain.

   "Yes, honey, please tell us!" my dad added, rubbing my back.

   I simply said, "I want Lafayette out of this house."

   "Why? What did he do?" my mom asked.

   I removed my face from my hands and looked up at my parents. "Why don't you ask him? You'll find out he's not the angel you think he is..."

   I then sprinted back up the stairs and went into my room.

   Lafayette was still standing there, and he was awkwardly trying to take back what he said. He tried to pull me into a hug, whispering what I knew were fake apologies to me.

   I ignored them and shoved him out of my room, shut the door on him, and locked it.

   I flopped onto my bed, cuddled my pillow, and cried.

   It never hurt me when people I didn't care about insulted me. But...when Lafayette said those things to me...

   His words cut deeper than knives.

   My self-esteem and self-worth dropped tremendously in a matter of seconds, and I knew that his words would forever leave scars. Not on the outside, but on the inside.