Face The Past

Chapter 3

Present

I wake up in my bed the next morning, still wearing the same clothes from yesterday... I guess I just fell asleep last night .

I rub my eyes and see the sun shining on my face.

I slowly sit up on my bed and place my feet on the ground beside my bed.

Was the party yesterday a dream? Did I just dream that I met Shawn?

I hope I did because it would be awkward otherwise...

I stand up and walk into the bathroom to take a shower and brush my teeth. I put some black leggings and a white, oversized hoodie on.

The perfect outfit for a lazy Sunday.

I leave my bedroom and walk into the kitchen of my apartment and make some coffee and cornflakes, still wondering if I dreamed what happened last night or if I didn't...

I stare on the surface of the kitchen counter, stirring my coffee with a teaspoon preoccupied.

I let the teaspoon go after a while and put some cornflakes in a bowl and add milk.

I take a nip of my coffee and eat some cornflakes as suddenly the doorbell rings.

Who's coming to my place on a Sunday morning without telling me?

Maybe it's Jess... She probably wants to talk about why I left last night...

I stand up and walk to the door and open it. "Jess, I'm f-"

I stop.

My words stick in my throat.

Now I know this wasn't a dream...

"Hey Brook." He says quietly and shyly and runs his fingers through his soft, brown curls.

I still can't say anything. Impossible.

"Look, I know we haven't seen each other in a while but can we please talk?" he asks and switches between my eyes.

"Shawn..." I answer shocked and nervous.

"Please, Brook. I need to talk to you..." He repeats but I still stand in front of him, not knowing what to do.

"O- Okay..." I answer after a few moments of silence and open the door so he can enter my apartment.

I close the door behind us and lead him into the living room.

"Wow, your apartment looks amazing... So bright and big..." "I guess that's not the reason why you came here." I answer cold and look at him.

"You're right. This isn't the reason." Shawn says and looks down to the ground.

"So why are you here after 3 years?" I ask a little annoyed and still nervous.

"I need to tell you something..." He starts and looks into my eyes.

He has the same eyes and the same expression in them as when I fell in love with him.

"Go on." I answer and sit on my kitchen counter.

"I wanna tell you this in person before you hear this from someone else." He says and walks closer to me.

"Elena's my girlfriend now..." He says quietly and looks down to the ground. It doesn't really hurt because I already knew it but I still feel this pain in my heart.

"Seriously? You can't even tell me this straight into my eyes? What are you afraid of? That I'm going to try to break you two up?" I ask shocked by his stupidity.

"I- I just thought you might wanna know this from me since our past..."

"Well, you're too late with that. I already saw you two yesterday at the party. Kissing, holding hands. Are you freaking serious?! She was my best friend and the reason why we didn't happen! How could you possibly love her after all?!" I ask and I have tears in the corner of my eyes even though I don't want that.

His eyes immediately meet mine and he looks at me in confusion.

"You know, I truly did love you. That's why it broke my heart into millions of pieces back then. I didn't eat for one week and I didn't leave the house for one month! You ever wondered why I wasn't in school? Because of you! I couldn't see you, I couldn't hear your voice, I couldn't freaking smell you because I would have cried immediately. You were the one I trusted with my whole heart and you were also the one who broke this trust and my heart. And now you're dating the girl who's responsible for all this drama and pain?!"

"Brook... Please-" "No! I never got the chance to tell you all this so listen to me now for at least one damn time. I never asked for much. I only asked you to love me and you couldn't even be honest with me and tell me you didn't have any feelings for me. You should've told me at the beginning that you're not interested in a relationship with me but the way you made it clear that you weren't interested in me was the worst way. You always made it seem like there is something between us. And I was so stupid and never lost hope. I never did but this was my mistake. Because in the end I was basically dead. And you have no idea how that feels. You can't imagine that because you're the big super artist and musician who's handsome and can get every girl possible! You only seem like this caring guy because you're secretly not better than any other boy on this planet and all these millions of girls who see you as this perfect and kind Canadian boy are as dumb as I was but they will realize it the sooner or later too." I yell and feel tears rolling over my cheeks.

"Brook, do you seriously think that I didn't have feelings for you?! I was in love with you but the dumb past Shawn didn't wanna admit it. And I'm truly sorry about that but I can't change times. I'm happy with Elena and I actually came to call a truce but I can't force you to do that." Shawn answers and looks deep into my eyes.

"Fuck you. You're dead to me..." I whisper with pain in my voice and turn around to look out of the big window.

"Brook-" "Leave my house." I say and wait a few moments but he doesn't leave. "Get out of my house!" I say loudly and look at him one last time with puffy and red eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you..." Shawn whispers and tears are rolling over his cheeks before he leaves my apartment.

I collapse on the floor and start crying heavily. It's like I can't breath anymore...