Forced to Become

Ch 33 hysterics

How long had Alpha been standing there? I shivered, looking down out of habit. Once I started, I couldn't stop shivering. My tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth and I couldn't make a sound. I actually flinched when Beta's hand touched the side of my face.

Beta sighed. "Do you see, Alpha? Your training has practically ruined them. How are they supposed to trust me, support me, when they are filled with so much fear? They are my pack now."

"Fool boy," Alpha scoffed, "they will never be your pack, not like me. Your father never trusted the bitten, and for good reason. They are forged in pain, and they never forgive us for that. They will try to take over if you do not put the fear of your authority in them. But do not worry, lord," Alpha's tone became disgustingly ingratiating, "let them love you... if that is what you want," he added derisively. "That they fear me is enough. I will keep them in line, lord. I will keep you safe."

Alpha sounded almost reverent as he came forward, ignoring me. I was surprised to see him kneel before Beta. He had a stillness to him we couldn't begin to emulate.

"To discipline is one thing; they should fear discipline if they disobey. This I understand," Beta said softly. "Reassure our good guard that you will not be killing any of our pack, not even the bitten," Beta commanded Alpha.

"I obey our royal heir's command. No punishment will be so severe that someone dies," Alpha solemnly intoned.

I understood then that we would never be free of Alpha, that Beta would approve of some of the things Alpha did. What I didn't know, was if he truly believed what Alpha said, or did he say what he did because he couldn't control Alpha without some sort of compromise. Beta's thinking was twisted, like biting Andre to bring him under Alpha's protection. I'd done it myself though, hitting Andre properly to save him from being beaten by Alpha. Better a little pain, than a pounding so severe it would damage us. I understood Beta's logic.

Realizing I was glancing up, I quickly lowered my head again. My movement attracted Alpha's attention.

"Good Guard," Alpha sneered, "you have yet to obey Beta. Beta agreed that disobedience should be punished."

"It's you!" The words burst out of me, and I was unable to stop myself from looking up. "You're the reason you want to kill me."

Alpha laughed, standing and stepping toward me. The back of his hand connected with the side of my head, causing me to stumble. "Nonsense," he growled.

In that moment, I collapsed. I totally gave in to all the fear and frustration inside me. He was going to beat me anyway. The most I could hope for was for Beta to understand and hopefully be able to save the others. When Alpha reached down and grabbed my hair, I couldn't stop the shriek that came out of me.

"You did it," I screamed at him, "it's all your fault and now your going to kill me for it."

Tears started running down my cheeks as Alpha shoved his face into mine. I was both angry and scared. Without even thinking, I pounded my fists weakly against Alpha's chest, then covered my head as his arm struck me again. 

"You did it," I accused, my voice rising. I continued to shriek at him, unable to control myself. "I was only obeying your commands. It's not my fault, it's yours. I obeyed like a good one, but you beat me anyway like a bad one. Why should I obey if I'm going to get beaten anyway, if you're going to kill me anyway? It's all your fault," I cried out, sobbing and shaking, "I obeyed!"

I shrieked some more when Alpha grabbed me. The primal sounds coming out of my mouth shocked me. My verbal barrage seemed to startle Alpha as well. He dropped me at his feet, where I curled into a ball. All I could do was sob pathetically, rocking back and forth. I didn't care anymore that we were supposed to just submit to our punishment. It wasn't fair and I couldn't take it anymore. When I was touched, I shrieked again, moving away, curling in on myself tighter, keeping my arms locked over my head. I just couldn't...