Forced to Become

Ch 37 down

"Alpha will sleep with you all tonight," Beta declared as he stood in the doorway.

Everyone was instantly tense. Alpha walked in carrying Beta's comforter, quickly spreading it out in the center of the room. He didn't hesitate in laying down on his back, staring at the ceiling, as stiff as the rest of us. He didn't seem to be any more a fan of this arrangement than we were.

"Come, Good Guard," Beta commanded.

I didn't dare hesitate going to the doorway. Beta moved to the side. With a flick of his wrist motioning me down, I went to my knees behind him. I dared glance at the others briefly as I went down. All of them were staring toward the door. I gave a small smile and encouraging nod before lowering my head so Beta wouldn't be mad. I still couldn't help peeking carefully though.

Beta stayed in the doorway until everyone was laying down. His two guards were on the outside of the sleeping arrangement. They kept scooting in, until the others couldn't help but nest up against Alpha. Shawn worked his way closest to Alpha on the one side, protecting the others in my absence. David did the same on Alpha's other side. Hesitantly, Shawn spread his blanket over Alpha, looking like he was ready to jerk back at any moment. It seemed to be what Beta was waiting for. He turned off the light and closed the door, locking it.

Beta just stood there. I wondered if he had changed his mind, if he was mad at me for looking to see what had been happening outside our room. If his patient waiting was a test, I was determined to pass it. I kept my head down, trying my hardest not to fidget.

Sure enough, his hand finally landed on my head, petting me. "I think I finally understand you, my Good Guard," he said softly. "Come."

He went past me toward the end of the hall, which seemed brighter than before. We stopped at an old wooden ladder. My heart raced in excitement and fear at the possibilities. I couldn't help putting a hand on the ladder, looking up at the opening above it.

"Look at the whole ceiling here as well," Beta commanded. His tone was neutral; I couldn't tell if he was angry or not.

I dropped my hand, looking down out of fear, before obeying Beta and looking carefully up at the hall ceiling. White, like before, not that we ever looked up or paid attention to the ceiling. It looked like wood now, set up in panels across the hall. In the middle was an oblong, florescent light, the width of the hall, which was why the hall was so bright now. The next-to-last panel at the end, above the ladder, was missing.

I looked at Beta, unsure of what reaction he was looking for out of me. In the end, I merely went to my knees before him, dropping my head and exposing my neck to him. My heart leaped when he started changing into a wolf before me. I tensed, knowing what to expect. The feel of teeth around my neck evoked that first terror I had felt in the car, no matter how much I kept telling myself I wouldn't be hurt. I couldn't stop the cold sweat that always broke out on me every time Beta or Alpha did this; nor could I control the slight trembling that made me clench my muscles in an effort to hold still.

I stayed down as I listened to Beta's body change back. The odd grinding and popping sounds always made my stomach churn; that first image of Beta's warping back flashing in my mind. I always closed my eyes when I changed, not wanting to look at the process on my own body or the others. I was grateful we hadn't been changing as much since Beta made the locked room our safe haven- a room Beta had kept Alpha out of since it had been cleaned, until now.

"Come," Beta said again when he was a boy once more, leading the way up the ladder.

I automatically held it steady for him, like I had every Christmas for my dad when he put lights on the house. My mind flew automatically from the memory, burying it, before I stopped myself. How could I keep the boy I used to be alive, if I kept avoiding my memories of my previous life? I purposely thought about how my dad let me climb up with him last Christmas, saying I was finally big enough to help. One hand above the other, I climbed the wooden ladder. Each handhold, each step, was a scene from that day. Dad helping me up, positioning me in an angle of the roof by our chimney, me spreading the lights out for him, counting out handfuls of plastic clips that he put in his pocket...

I stood on the last step, looking at the top of the ladder, feeling like I had just fought a battle.

"We will go down first. Alpha demanded it."

Beta's voice brought me back to the present. Down. It took a second for my mind to adjust to my current circumstances. I looked around. There was a lone, bare lightbulb off to my side a little, illuminating the odd space in front of me.

A dark brick wall was across from me. There were no windows in it. Between me and that wall was a metal staircase going up and down, that seemed to defy logic. I climbed onto the platform in front of me, having to drop down a little. There was another wall on my side. I could see where windows used to be; not only by the brick window sills sticking out, but the difference in the color of the bricks filling the old windows, making it obvious.

Beta only waited until he saw me on the platform before he began his descent. I followed him carefully. Slowly, words to describe where I was began to come to mind. We were on the outside of our building, with another building so close I could touch it. Fire escape. That was the word I was looking for. Beta and I were climbing down a fire escape that was left between the two buildings. I looked up, but couldn't see the sky. There weren't any lights from the narrow sides either. This whole space seemed enclosed.

It took forever, going down a flight of stairs to a landing, going across the short length of grating before working our way down another flight of stairs. My feet quickly got sore. The metal had harsh edges where the pattern of small holes along the steps were, and they were cold, but I didn't dare complain.

Down. And down some more. An apartment building, I reminded myself. I thought too late about trying to figure out how many floors up we were. I told myself I'd count on the way back up.

That's when it hit me; that dangerous thought I couldn't avoid. Escape! I could knock Beta down, run for help...

I shook my head at my fantasy. Get help from who? It didn't matter. Tell them we were werewolves, and then what? They wouldn't believe us until they saw Alpha changing. The image of Alpha attacking a cop, ripping his throat out, blood spurting out, was quickly replaced with a satisfying image of a SWAT team riddling Alpha's warping body with bullets. But in the movies, all the werewolves got killed. My pack, those little omegas... even Beta; I didn't want them dead. Or maybe they would take us and experiment on us. Either way, they would never let us just go back home to our families.

And yet...

Alpha was locked in a room above me. It was just me and Beta; just the two of us. Where had the driver gone too?

This is how my thoughts went as I followed Beta down the dimly lit stairs, swinging wildly from one extreme possibility to the other. Not one fanciful scenario ever led to a happy ending. By the time Beta stopped, I came to the realization about what it was I was ready for. I was ready for the truth. There was no escape, not from being a werewolf. There was no place safe in the world for us; and therefore no good escape from here. It was like my pack had talked about. Where else would we go? What could we do, now that we could become wolves?

My mouth went suddenly dry and my motion stopped as I thought about what Shawn had said; how he had done what he had because of the threats made against Andre. Alpha was locked in with my pack. The image of Alpha's partially formed snout shoving itself into my face filled my mind. "Can you imagine what I would do if our royal heir were harmed?" Alpha's words came back to me. Trepidation filled me as I realized how important it was that Beta stay safe between now and when we got back to unlock that door. I began moving again, slowly, trying to get myself under control.

I found myself standing before Beta, with a light shining from another opening to the side, like the one we had gone through up above. I didn't try to knock him down and run. I went to my knees on the metal grating instead. All thoughts of escape were gone as if they had never been. I had to protect my pack. Beta had to stay safe was the only thought in my head.

A gentle touch on the top of my head. "Come," practically whispered.

I followed Beta through the opening at the bottom of the staircase, finding myself wishing I could go first to protect him if I needed too. Being his guard was the only way to protect my pack.