My Story

Chapter 4: Eating Disorder

I suffered with binge eating disorder. This disorder consumed my life for a very long period of time. Growing up, and even now, I had a very small body frame. I was always classified as "underweight" even though I was significantly healthy. I ate proper meals; breakfast, lunch, and dinner along with snacks in between. But my weight maintained the same for years. I was bullied about my weight and my petite sizing and I learned to hate my body for many different reasons. I went through a period of time where I actually would never eat but I never really lost any weight. In 2017-2018, I developed the habit of constantly over eating. I would eat so much to the point where I'd throw up because my stomach couldn't hold anymore food in. I would step on the scale 4-7 times a day and every single time I would become disappointed in the results. I'd stuff my face every hour in hopes of gaining weight. It brought so much discomfort into my daily activities. I tried so hard to gain weight because I hated the way I looked. But binging only made my hatred for my body worse. I wasn't gaining weight so I started to believe there was something wrong with me. I would eat 24/7 so it didn't make sense as to why I wasn't gaining weight. I began to stop wearing my favourite clothes. I started to wear more sweatpants and big hoodies. And the hope I once had was gone.