Offenderman [ᏟᎾᎷᏢᎬᎢᎬ]

Chapter Six

"My advice is to just keep it talking, about anything whatsoever. If you sit there for hours, listening to how much it fucking loves rainbows, it will still have been worth it. We could still use it against them. They're also going to try and send you in with recording equipment. It probably won't fucking work since recording equipment never works with these guys, but they're going to try it out anyway, see if they can overcome the distortion somehow. Also I'm making sure to get a constant monitor for your gps tracking chips. You disappear again and we'll know about it. I'll keep you posted if anything else comes up. You keep getting ready and do your thing. And try not to get too paranoid, as impossible as that is."

"I've dealt with worse." She says coldly.

She finishers her report and heads down to the locker rooms for the hotels pool to shower, as it was more public, full of people, and therefore safer than her hotel bathroom. As the rest of the day goes by she stays in the hotel lobby, moving to a nearby restaurant when the population in the lobby dwindled, until as the moment for the interview grew close, she tried to make herself seem presentable and then was picked up by a taxi cab that was secretly manned by people from the agency, who briefed her and outfitted her with the various pieces of hidden recording equipment, before dropping her off in front of the café and driving off.

The building was dark, with wire mesh blinds pulled over the windows to stop people from breaking in. she looks in the window, but it's too dark to see, so she tries to open the door, its unlocked. She pushes the door open a crack and the light flickers on, illuminating the small café, but it seems empty. Calmly she sits in a booth by the window. The light flickers again, and suddenly she's sitting on the lap of Sexual Offenderman, having spontaneously appeared beneath her in the booth. His arms wrapped around her like they were sweethearts and a big grin on his face.

"Miss me?"

She pushes herself out of his arms and angrily take's the seat across from him in the booth.

"Not really a foreplay kind of gal are you?" his tone sounding cocky and self-assured.

"I don't like surprises." She takes a long look at him before asking "should we get started then?"

"The sooner we can get to the sex you promised the better. So shoot" he says while leaning back in the booth and resting his hands behind his head. Tipping his fedora over his face slightly so that it hid the patch of blank space where his eyes would have been.

"I have to admit, you aren't at all what I expected." She thinks aloud as she took a small notepad out of her pocket and placed it on the table.

"Well if you want I CAN TALK LIKE THIS" its voice becoming monstrous as the lights start flickering and white tentacles snake from his back. He takes off his hat, placing it on the table as broad unquestionably evil grin rips across his face and he rise's to his feet, limbs extending to inhuman sizes as the pale white hands on the table become more claw like and he leans over until his face is inches from the her own,

"You did say that you hated surprises, wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." It says mockingly, its mouth not moving to the words, just keeping that wide grin.

Once again, she surprisingly seems unfazed.

"The other way is fine." She says plainly.

He sits down, returning to a more human scale and picking his fedora up off the table. Putting it on as he leans back in his chair casually, and resting his hands behind his head before saying suggestively "I can be whatever you want me to be baby. Pick a length."

"Although the pick-up line was expected." She says more to herself than anyone.

"Hey, I still gotta be me."

She eyes the few stray rose petals that had fallen off him onto the table, hiding her fear well and saying politely "Of course if there is a form your more comfortable in then..." but as her eyes glance up she sees him sitting there naked except for his boots and hat, his black trench coat draped over the seat beside him. "Keep your coat on"

"Party pooper." He responds with a smirk, standing up, With her pointedly averting her eyes as he did so, although she couldn't help catching a glimpse of what looked like a third leg, and putting the long black coat back over his shoulders and tying it around his waist before sitting down again, leaning over the table a little further than he probably should and resting his head in his hands to look up at her with a smirk, just close enough to make her uncomfortable but not quite enough to really intrude on her personal boundaries.

"So" he continues "what's gotten you so interested in little old me? Since I'm starting to think that there's a tiny, infinitesimally small little chance you didn't come find me for the sex."

She stares at him blankly for a moment. "It's my job."

"Oooooo... so its personal." he says in a gossipy, teasing sort of voice.

"I just told you that it wasn't."

"And I'm telling YOU that you're lying, so spill."

She gives him a hard look. "I would rather not."

"Come on, I can keep a secret."

After a moment's awkward silence, she responds stiffly. "You're asking me to tell you the single most painful thing I could ever have to say to anyone. What has made my life a terrifying hell, and stir up all the memory's that make sitting next to you, and listening to what you have to say with as little bias as possible, very, very difficult."

She stares him down, her expression hard and unforgiving. He didn't like it.