Little Miss Secret

Guilty

I knocked on the door of the hospital room that the front desk lady had told me was Ivy's room. 

"Come in!" The panicked voice of Kevin spoke. I pushed open the door. Ivy's nuckles gripped the side of the bed. Her knuckles were white. 

"Violet." She took a sigh of relief. I sat on the bottom of her bed. 

"How ya feeling?" I patted her leg. 

"Violet, that may be the stupidest question you've ever asked." She groaned in pain as another contraction hit her. I couldn't help but to laugh a little. I got up from the bed and approached Kevin.

I hugged him. "You're gonna be a great dad, you know that?" I've seen the way he treats Harper. He's going to be an amazing dad. 

"I'll try my best." He patted my back. 

Kevin was a great guy. When Ivy first started dated him I didn't like him too much because he took all of Ivy's attention away from me. I was in high school though, young and stupid. When she told us he had proposed I was overjoyed! I couldn't ask for a better brother in law or a better guy to be a father to my nephew. 

Ivy groaned again. 

"How much longer? Do you know?" 

"I don't know, but it better be soon!" Ivy practically screamed. Kevin had her take a drink of water through a straw. 

I got my camera out and popped a SD card into it. I began to take pictures. Birth was one of the hardest things a women has to encounter, but it is also so beautiful! I encourage every mother to hire a photographer. 

Throughout the next hour and a half, various nurses and doctors came in to check on Ivy. Every time someone would come in Ivy would ask how much longer until she could push. 5 hours into Ivy's labor the doctors told her it was time for a baby. 

The birth went by in a whirlwind. Screams, and tears filled the room. My camera shuttered as I took pictures. An hour later the squeals of a baby filled the room. Tears blurred my vision as I stared at my beautiful nephew. 

"Oh my baby!" Ivy cried happy tears as she held her son. Kevin stood next to her staring at his son in awe. He kissed Ivy on the forehead. 

The nurses took the baby and cleaned him up. I took pictures of him being weighed and measured. The nurses brought the baby back to Ivy.

"And what are we naming this beautiful baby boy?" The nurse asked. 

Ivy grinned from ear to ear. "Matthew Grey Evans." 

They filled out the birth certificate and Kevin and Ivy signed it. 

"Smile!" I exclaimed. Kevin leaned in next to Ivy and Matthew and I snapped a picture. 

"Do you wanna hold him?" Ivy smiled. I nodded and she gently placed the baby in my cradled arms. 

"Hi baby! I'm your auntie." I kissed his head. Ivy picked up my camera and took a picture of me holding him. I handed Matthew to Kevin. 

"When's Harper coming?" Ivy asked excitedly. 

"I can call Seth and he can bring her now." 

Ivy nodded yes. 

I dialed Seth's number.

"He's here!" I said when he picked up the phone, "Can you bring Harper?"

"Of course!" He exclaimed, "I'll be there in 10."

"Okay."

15 minutes later there was a knock on the door and Harper and Seth came in. Harper held a blue balloon with a baby carriage on it. When Harper laid he eyes on Matthew she gasped.

"Baby!!!!!" She squealed and ran over to the end of the hospital bed. She stood tall on her tiptoes to peek at the baby. 

"Do you wanna hold her?" Ivy asked.

"Uh-huh!!!" She jumped up and down. 

"Why don't you sit on daddy's lap on the couch over there." I suggested. 

Seth gave me a confused look.

"You'll be fine." I gently remarked. I don't think he's ever held a newborn baby before. Seth went and sat on the couch and Harper hopped on his lap. Seth put his arms out and Kevin placed Matthew in his arms. Matthew yawned. I took pictures of them. 

"He's beautiful, Ivy." Seth sat their in awe. His eyes were wide open. He grazed his hand over his hair. I swear I saw a tear fall down his face. 

There was a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach as guilt overtook me. He would've been there at Harper's birth, I know he would've. No matter what situation our relationship was at in that moment, he still would have been there. 

For the first time I felt guilty for not letting Seth know about my pregnancy. Me being mad him, has nothing to do with his relationship with his daughter. 

He should've been there since day one, but he wasn't.

And that's nobody's fault, but mine.