"I like Mary Jane more."

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Him|Her

"Hey."

"Well you sound sad. Did I call at a wrong time?"

"N-no, I-- it's just. I'm just stressed."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Thanks, but I'd rather not."

"Well what usually makes you feel better when something like this happens?"

"Nothing."

"So you just mope around like a piece of sh-- I mean, rock?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Well that's no fun, Noodles. Whenever I feel down, I listen to music, drink coffee, read a book, and smoke xanny."

"What the fuck?!"

"What?!"

"You use Xanny?"

"Oh no. I just thought it'd be fun to add to my small monologue."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Well then, you do use Xann--"

"I like Mary Jane more."

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