A Hundred and fifty Days

The Final Part (5)

"Yo te Quiero"

I have read his letter repeatedly as if it's hard to understand what's written in the latter part. Did he just tell me 'Yo te Quiero'? Where did it come from? What does it really mean?
~~
The cellphone rang with its playful summer ringtone. It was an old Nokia 3210 model.

"Hi, good morning" I heard his voice on the other line. I'm thinking about what to say because it's the first time I heard his voice after I've read his letter. It's the first day of a hundred and fifty days.

Tonight is the strangest night for me, but the sound of his voice brings familiarity to a lonely and cold cloudless night in Central Luzon. It reminds me that we're just like nine hundred and fifty-six kilometers away. It helps to think that it's not miles apart, or at least my mind tells me so.

"Good morning" I replied to him, even if it's nine thirty in the evening. It's one of our 'friendship gestures and signatures'. I didn't realize how hard it is to ask a question until I had the courage to break the ice between us.

"About what you said in the letter..." there's a long pause because I have to clear my throat.
"Did you just say...?" I haven't been able to finish my question when...

"Yo te Quiero" Mark blurted out.

Hearing him say it over the phone makes my heart beat fast. I know it's starting to sound crazy, but yes I felt like my heart is having a race with the horses. I turned speechless for a moment. I can hear him breathe, so I might as well just breathe until I picked up my question.

"Why did you say that? I mean, what makes you say that?"

Mark is listening, but I know that I don't need him to answer my questions.

"You just made it so hard for me" I added.

He let out a sigh and say, "When you said you were leaving, I realized this feeling. Strange but I feel it exactly the way I told you."

"The thing is, I wanted to tell you the same thing". I confessed while I rest my head on grandma's reclining chair.

"I love you" he just said it in English, but my head couldn't transmit the message to my whole senses. Can somebody translate this to me, please? I just can't help but smile. What is this feeling? It's a mixed emotion of fear and excitement. I'm delighted with his words, but I'm afraid to compromise our friendship. I fear to lose our friendship.

Hearing him say it in English felt overwhelming. I think it sounded more sincere to my ears, but my heart appeals to my brain, saying 'Yeah, I heard it right'.

Trying to sound casual, I let out a bubbly laugh and say "Why are you so serious, huh? You're crazy! "I love you, too," said me.

~~

I was the one who's crazy. I didn't realize it's easy to say those words, but the moment I said it, my heart believed in it. I was such a fool to let it out easily because I felt it, and it stayed longer than a hundred and fifty days.

Regular phone calls and thoughtful messages went on for months. Say 'I love you' before good night, and catch up on weekends if we're alright. Say 'Yo te Quiero' or 'I love you' before we hung up, we used to cuddle our dreams together as if sitting underneath a tree and talking about a long day we had. It felt so right, yet my mind had some fright.

I guess we didn't change anything, but we add 'something' in our friendship. Between the two of us, no one ever tried to ask about 'us'. No labels. No questions asked. No 'us'.
~~

Unsent Letters

'Unsent letters I wrote for you while counting each day,
a hundred and fifty days longing, too'