The Promise // park jinyoung (#20)

Chapter 30

SiEun

I hope that it is just a dream and it is just me hallucinating on a regular day, I sometimes think of projections of other people and think that they are real when in fact that it is just my imagination, I sometimes have projections of my own twin sister speaking to me during the early periods of her death and I think of her a lot, thus her appearing around me very often.

But I have never thought of Park Jinyoung for the entire time, day or night. Maybe he would appear on my mind when I am reading the newspapers in the morning or when I am scrolling through the articles about him online but never too much that I would hallucinate that he is around me.

Maybe I have, I can't just forget him. He is one of the people that changed my perspective of rich people, my twin sister being the first. "How have you been doing?" He asked, he still looks fake to be real.

"Are you really here? Because I am not in my right mind at this moment."

He chuckled. "I am really, I have come here for a reason." He signals me to the tombstone where my sister is resting. "I'm here to meet the real Baek YeEun for the first time ever."

I couldn't move at all, my body was stiff. I couldn't believe myself that he was really here, looking fine as heck, placing down the bouquet of flowers that he has brought along next to the tombstone. I waited for him to finish up on what he is doing and I wondered his intentions of being here, how did he even know that I am here? Who gave him the information that I was even here?

I looked around for that one person that I accompanied to be here, he just sent me a text message that he would meet me back at the resort and urged me to resolve everything that I have with Park Jinyoung. I thought that the two weren't really on good terms?

The last time they ever met each other, I was rushing off to the airport after receiving news of the death of my twin sister and he didn't let us go. The encounter at Seokjin's restaurant that night wasn't really friendly either, they got into a scuffle into each other and it nearly ended into a bloodbath if not for me who stopped them from fighting and further.

A text message came in from Seokjin again and I feel less confident, I want to get out of here.

Tell him everything that he needs to know about you and YeEun, I'm sure that he is willing to understanding what happened off the entire swapping situation.

About the switch, I have barely recovered from that. It was devastating, I could've gotten into pretending that I was the real Baek YeEun that I couldn't remember how my real persona was, it was if I changed into the person that I hated to become and the persona that I was had disappeared. I have begun to use such authority for my own good and it is not for the both of us, we are supposed to benefit from it but yet I am the one who truly has gotten what I had wanted.

Baek YeEun lost herself completely after losing her identity and not being able to get it back from me, I was too greedy to give her identity back to her and I discovered that too late. I wasn't in time to save her, I had thought that she was too stubborn to come back because she was a coward, she was afraid of going back to her life that she hated so much but yet she yearned for that life as well.

She was contradicting herself so much that she couldn't handle it and so, she decided to end her own life so that there would only be one of us in this world. In her last words, she wanted me to live her life but in a better way that she did, a life that I would be happy most of the time and with the one that I loved. Does he still love me?

"How did you even find her in the first place? Seokjin told me that you guys were separated when you were young." We sat down under a big shady tree, it was his idea and I only followed along. "It is okay if you don't want to tell me about it, I'm just curious."

"I'll tell, it is no big secret anyway. Everyone knows that I pretended to be my sister." I inhaled and exhaled as I prepared myself to tell him, it is not a good thing to talk about after not seeing each other for a long time. "She found me way back in high school and she has thought of ways to reconnect with me, I was working at her boutique when I first know that she was actually my twin sister. Seokjin and Jisoo already knew about it since they have met the real Baek YeEun from young, they were family friends and would always have dinner together. I wasn't really keen on the switching when she first brought it up to me, it was absurd that I have to pretend to be someone else for an entire year and I can't believe that I'm switching my life with my twin sister who I have barely known, it is at our first meeting."

It was troublesome and chaotic but in some way, it was a blessing in disguise. I got to live the life that I wanted, I got to design my own clothes with my sister guiding me, I got to take care of a boutique that I was previously being mistreated at, I attended a blind date to drive a crazy man which I could never forget.

"And for the blind date, it was one of the main reasons for the switching. She already loved someone else at that point in time and doing on a date with another man is pointless. She was in love with Seokjin and she has plans to be with him if Seokjin ever confesses to her but they never got a chance to get together despite their strong feelings for each other."

He placed his hands on top of mine. "Thank you for telling me all of this, I initially thought that you would avoid me at all costs if you see me but you didn't. You were willing to tell me about your life and I like that about you."

I must seem like a fraud to him. Do I even deserve his love for me? "Jinyoung, if you are going to ask me to be with you, I'm afraid that I can't. I lied to you about myself for way too long and you wouldn't want a liar to be your wife."

"You didn't have a choice but I forgive you for that, I don't care who are you but I know that I love you. Whether if you are Yoon SiEun or Baek YeEun, you are still the woman that I fell in love from the very beginning."

I feel tears filling my eyes and I can't face him at all, I stood up and let go of his hands. "Sorry but you should find someone better, I don't deserve your love at all." I ran down the hill and I never looked back once despite his calls for me to come back to me.