Sunrise // Hardzello

Chapter five

Bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz
I groaned as my alarm went off at 5:00 sharp, and blindly reached for my phone to turn the obnoxious alarm off. My blankets were so fuzzy and warm, but it was warmer than usual. I turned over to my right, and was met with Ben's sleeping face, only a few inches away. My chest got warm at the sight. He looked so peaceful when he slept. He was curled up next to me with his hands holding the covers close to him, and his legs tangled with mine. I reluctantly untangled my legs from Ben's, and got out of bed to get ready for work. I brewed a pot of coffee, and made myself a cup of coffee to go with cream. Then I walked out of my apartment shutting the door quietly so I wouldn't wake Ben. I locked the door, and walked downstairs before leaving the building. As soon as I opened the door, I could feel the humidity. The air was thick, and there were grey clouds covering the horizon.
Work drug on all day, and the meeting lasted hours longer than I had anticipated. I bounced my leg as I sat in the uncomfortable seat, and checked the clock for the 100th time today.
7:12
Crap. I told Ben that I only had a short meeting to go to today. I feel bad for leaving him alone all day, and my heart aches to see him right now, to be near him. I've realized something the past few days that I've spent with Ben. My heart pounds faster when I'm around him. When I look into his ocean blue eyes, it's like no one else exists besides the two of us. When I see his plump pink lips, there's only one thing I can think of. There's only one thing that could mean...
I've had small crushes on girls before, so I always assumed that I was straight. My family is religious, so I always knew that if I came out as gay to them, they might say that they will always love me no matter what, but I know my parents. Everyone would think of me differently. Look at me differently. I don't want to complicate things with family. So, I've always known that even if I was gay, I wouldn't be able to tell my family. I'm not sure that I'm gay specifically. Ben's the only person I've ever loved romantically, so I can't really compare this feeling to anything with anyone else. And then there's the fact that Ben turns into a cat when the sun rises...if that doesn't complicate things even more, then I don't know what would. I was pulled back into reality when the leader of the meeting declared it over, and said that we could pack up and go home. I got out of my seat at lightning speed, and packed my stuff up, before making my way towards the exit. I opened the door and the sound of heavy rain hitting the ground filled my ears, and seconds later, lightning struck. I was filled with worry as Ben's tear stained face from last night flashed in my mind. I covered my face with my hand, and fast-walked to my car so that I could go home, and make sure that Ben is okay. Twenty long minutes later, I parked at my apartment complex, and jumped out of my car. I opened my front door, and scanned my apartment for Ben. "I'm home, Ben. Are you okay?" I took my shoes off, and walked to my bedroom. I opened my door. Nothing. My brows furrowed, and suddenly I became so scared of losing someone that I've only known for such a short period of time. It feels like I can't live without him. He makes me smile. I'm always happy when I'm with him, and when we're apart, all I can think about is him. He's constantly on my mind. It feels like I've forgotten what my life was like before I met him. I checked every single room in my apartment before confirming that Ben was gone. My heart was shattering more and more with every passing second. Did he find somewhere else to live, and not bother telling me? Am I ever going to see him again? Do I mean anything to him? Should I even bother going out to look for him?.. maybe he doesn't want to come back. Tears threatened to pour out of my eyes as I slammed my apartment door shut, and ran down the steps as my vision got blurry. I whipped the entrance door open, and looked to my left and right, before running across the busy road while the rain continued to pour.

I hope y'all are enjoying this book lol.