Philophobia // Jake Webber or Colby Brock?

Chapter 14

I went into my liquor cabinet and started downing a bunch of shots of Jack Daniels until I was completely out of it and drunk. When Colby got there he knocked on the door and I got up and opened it for me. As soon as the door opened he hugged the crap out of me. Colby's hugs are probably the best thing ever not gonna lie. He picked me up a little bit so my feet were hanging then put me down and nuzzled his face in my shoulder. After a couple of minutes he let go and asked me "what's wrong". "Jake left me" "I need more explanation then that" he said walking over to my couch and sitting down. I made him a drink then walked over and sat next to him and he threw his arm over my neck and shoulders. I explained everything that happened and how I think I'm falling for him even though I have philophobia as he downed his drink. The whole time he was looking straight into my eyes and playing with my silver hair. When I finished explaining I looked up at his eyes. His blue ocean eyes. They were absolutely beautiful even though they are kind of droopy because he's drunk. "Aye, im so sorry, if he doesn't want to be with you anymore let him. He's the one that's missing out okay". "It was my fault though I kept questioning his feelings and I just fuck everything up" I cry out "shh" he whispered and suddenly hid blue eyes slowly came closer. He put his hand on my chin and pulled me in until we kissed. Yes. We kissed. You didn't read that wrong. He let go and I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in to kiss me again. The world was moving in slow motion because of how drunk I was and since I felt completely vulnerable and alone those blue eyes were just too tempting. I climbed over his thighs and started making out with him. I knew it wasn't a good idea but in the moment I didn't even care. He's just so fucking serious and intimate it would be impossible not to give in. He stood up with me still on him. Now my legs were fully wrapped around his waist and my arms were around his neck. He walked me over to my bed and threw me on it. He climbed on top of me and started sucking on my neck leaving bruise imprints. You can probably guess what happens next so I will spare the details

•time skip•

I woke up with a huge headache and I was nauseous. I looked over and saw Colby in his boxers laying next to me and I was just in my underwear and a hoodie. Last night was a big. Fat. Blur. Then I came into realization of what happened and all I could think was 'Jake..... my poor sweet caring Jake. He doesn't deserve this... yes he left and gave up on me but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me... he said he would always love me... I did to him what was done to me in a way... I'm a horrible person... once you love someone there is no going back... trust me I know... I've been in Jakes shoes... how could I do this... what kind of heartless human being am I??' I sat straight up and ran into the bathroom and threw up. I put on some pants that were laying on the floor and I splashed a bunch of water on my face trying to get into reality because right now it doesn't feel like reality. I wiped off my face and opened my eyes. I looked over to the side and looked at the hickeys that were formed from my jawline down into my collarbone. "FUCK" I yelled punching the wall, my yelling woke up Colby and he walked into the bathroom. My hands were shaking and my knuckle was bruised. Colby hugged me from behind and asked "hey babygirl, are you okay" I pushed him off of me and ran out of the bathroom and outside. "HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING" he yelled as I ran out of the apartment and into the street. I ran all the way to Xephers place and started banging on her door. She opened it and rubbed her eyes saying "are you okay" but I cut her off by hugging her. "XEPHER IN SO SORRY AND I FUCKED UP AND I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE AND I NEED YOUR HELP" I yelled into her shoulder. I let go and looked up at her "please" she grabbed me and hugged me. "Sasha I know I said something's and left you but your still my best friend and I still care about you, come on in and talk to me" I smiled through my crying. We walked inside and sat on her bed. I told her everything from start to finish and showed her the hickeys. "What are you going to do" she asked me "that's what I came here for, I don't know what to do Xepher" she hugged me and when she stopped she asked me "have you talked to Colby about the whole thing about last night". I shook my head in a no. "Talk to him when your calmed down and he's calmed down and if you want to be with Jake you and Colby can not talk about what happened or it will crush his poor 5 year old heart" "I knowwwww" i whined. "But I don't want to lie to him" I said putting my face in my hands "if he doesn't ask your not lying" she reassured me "as long as Colby goes along with it your fine" she said patting my back. "Your right" I said getting up. In the moment it seemed like a really good idea but was it? No. In the back of my mind I knew how shitty that is. I didn't pay attention because I trusted my best friends instincts and I was completely desperate. "Thank you Xeph, FaceTime later" I asked and she nodded her head yes. "Hey can I use your skate board for a while" I asked her while walking out of the door and she yelled "SURE" so I grabbed her skateboard and skated over to the traphouse. When I got there I put my hoodie over my head and neck covering the hickeys Colby had made last night and walked inside. I saw Colby sitting on the couch and I came up behind him up and whispered "we need to talk" so we went upstairs into his room. "I know what your going to say" he told me while shutting the door. "Before I explain anything where's Jake" I asked him. "He's with Aubrie" "Aubrie?" My heart dropped.