A Second Chance

8.

Boy, did I cop it Sunday night. First it was Connor going on about the divorce papers. Second it was Willow whining about her father.

I spent most of the weekend when I wasn't working, reflecting on me. What I could do to be a better person and a better mother.

Then Connor ruined it all, yet again. So I set the bar straight. I told Connor I will sign the papers, but first, he has to help me financially with Willow. Pay some of her school fees for example.

That started another fight. Each time he opened his mouth, I noticed more and more things about Connor I never saw before. He was a slob. He was rude. He was lazy. He was inconsiderate.

But I got the last word in. And I boasted to myself about it too, smiling widely on the drive home.

Monday was a slow start but we got the ball rolling. I took Willow to school, I did the house work. I went to work. Ryan helped Willow with her homework and I was really seeing the soft side of Ryan, feeling extremely grateful towards him with helping Willow. I visited Liz and her memory was deteriorating. Liz had taught Willow how to play gin, now it was Willow teaching Liz. Ryan and I were getting friendlier and I have to admit, it feels so nice to have a friend I could talk to, face to face.

Tuesday was the same, same with Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday night though, I had a small laugh after the shock.

"Where is that beautiful grandchild of mine, dear?" Liz asked me when I delivered her supper.

"Ryan? I believe he is downstairs, Liz." I told her softly. Olivia had finished for the night and Liz was tucked in to bed.

"Oh no, no, no. Not him."

I was confused. I didn't know if Ryan had any siblings.

"Your daughter. Where is she?"

"Oh, Willow?" What? "She is downstairs watching tv. Probably asleep on the couch." Again.

"She is so beautiful. You both have been doing a marvelous job."

Olivia's words floated in my head, let her believe her delusions. "Uh, thank you."

"It still feels like yesterday when she was born. So little and innocent. Such a cute little girl. I still remember holding her for the first time. Her dark hair has lightened up and she was the most precious thing."

I stared dumbfounded at Liz. Willow was born with black hair, but it had lightened up dramatically. Then I laughed.

"Yes. She was a tiny little thing, wasn't she?" I replied. "Goodnight, Liz, I'll see you tomorrow.

I left the room and went for the stairs when I saw Ryan coming up.

"How is she?"

"Reminiscing about the first time she held Willow as a baby?" I smiled nervously at Ryan and he stilled.

"Huh. Okay." Then he smiled and shook his head. "Earlier today, she was detailing me about her honeymoon but she was so adamant that it was mine and my wife's. Whoever that person was. I've never been married."

Ryan sounded so sad and I gave him a small smile. "Was she happy, talking about it?"

"Yeah." Came his sigh. "Her whole face lit up. So I went along. She was happy so I let her be."

"Maybe it's for the best then, Ryan." I uttered, walking away back down the stairs.

I checked on Willow who was laying down on the couch, rubbing her finger against her nose. She always does that when she is tired, scared or content and I don't know why. It was something she started doing from around two onwards.