I AM NOT GAY {FINISHED}

6~old scars/future hearts

Play the song, or don't, i dont care, but that was what i was thinking of when i began this chapter

Brendon's POV

I'm not gay. But...

I might be crushing on Dallon...nah, I can't be, I'm straight...right?

It could be the stress of the situation, but when he looks over at me, I feel my heart flutter a little. Hopefully, NOT in a gay way.

Recently he's been acting a little weird, but I just told him K*nny was my ex and he tried to murder me out of jealousy.

The only reason that I do STAGE gay with Dallon is because I didn't need the public knowing about K*nny's and my relationship. Not even the rest of the band knew. We were like 5 months into the relationship when he joined Panic! and I was already doing the STAGE gay with Dallon. The fans may have found it weird if I suddenly switched to our new guitarist.

K*nny got jealous and started to accuse me of liking Dallon after the first tour. We just got to my house when I was trying to tell him that I didn't like Dallon.

He, of course, ignored me. Tried to make me have sex. It was like 7 months into the relationship. I wasn't ready. Dumbass tried to ask me again a week later, saying we weren't a couple unless we also fucked.

I tried to break up with him, but he said we were basically soulmates.

Right now, hes like a scar on my future heart. This is my life to live. I never wanted to be the one left behind, don't blame me, don't hate me.

I won't fade away. I hope I won't. But maybe I should just hide myself away.

I feel like I'm quoting a song. Eh, maybe I am. Who knows.

But I know after that, I broke up with him and kicked him out of my house. He stayed in the band for a year or so after, continuously hitting on me. Even when I was with Sarah. It was worse when I was with Sarah.

"Hey, Brendon, if you had a crush on someone who you can't have, how would you deal with it?"

"I dunno, maybe be straight forward with them."

"Oh, ok...well, I would've never thought that it was K*nny who was your ex. I'd think it would've been Ryan or Spencer first."

"Me? Date Ryan? As if, sure, he looks good for a guy, but I don't think I could ever love him, he was my best friend, like you. You're my best friend."

Dallon's face fell a little as I said it.

"Dal? Is there something wrong?"

"No...no, I'm fine, I just thought of...something sad?"

"That sounded questionable, why?"

"No reason." Dallon spoke awkwardly fast.

"Ok, Imma take a nap, these pain meds are taking la toll on me...you also look tired, and a chair isn't the most comfortable place. You can stay up here with me..." What am I saying? That sounds gay... I swear, I'm not gay...right?

"Yeah, sure." Dallon said as he got up from the plastic chair. He walked over to the other side of the bed snd crawled in behind me. I was as far left as I could go and he had to bend his legs to fit.

Once we both got comfortable, I was already half asleep. Dallon was too, because not long after, he was making soft, cute snores. Wait...that sounds like I like him. I don't. I'm not gay. I think.

I started to doze off and I just lost care that Dallon was right next to me, asleep.

~~~few hours, brendon wakes up and dallon is still asleep~~~

I wake up to Dallon's arm wrapped around me. I was also pressed against him. I softly smiled to myself as Dallon began to stir.

"Mmm...Wha- oh, shit, Bren, sorry, I'll leave." He began to move his arm, but I subconsciously grabbed it and pulled it back over me, like a blanket. One problem. I didn't let go. Dallon just chuckled cute- nope, not gay, not gay...maybe.

I mean, boys love boys and girls. Love is not a choice. Did I just reference ny own song? Whatever...

I like the warm feeling Dallon is giving off. Like. Not love.

I realized I was still holding his arm as he tried to pull it free.

"Heh, Brendon, what the heck?"

"Mmm, its warm feeling. I like it."

"Whatever, but we need to get up."

"Whyyy, can't we just lie here all day, I have an injury."

"Well, I have get up and get all my stuff from the tour bus into my suitcase. And someone has to put your stuff away too."

"Mmm...fine..."

I let go of his arm and there was cold spot where his arm was.

I ended up falling back to sleep.

~~~

"I just don't know..."

"Tell him when he wakes up."

"Mike, it isn't that easy, especially with what happened in the past."

"Are you gonna tell me what happened or..."

"I don't think he would like it if I were to tell anyone."

I felt a hand start moving up and down my back, tracing small patterns. It was really comforting. I like it.

I pretended to remain asleep, mostly cause I wanna see where this goes.

"Dallon, you can't hide this forever."

"I not going to. I'm going to see if he feels the same way."

"I think he does. Look at him, he's fallen asleep, curled up into you side."

"That means nothing, he is just ti-"

"You said he asked you to sleep in the bed with him, you said when he woke up, he held onto your arm. What else is more obvious?"

"Ok, fine, I'll wake him up and tell him."

The hand that was previously on my back moved. Then probably the same hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Brendon, you have to wake up."

I released a groan and rolled over.

"I don't wanna, let me sleep."

Dallon let out a cute giggle. Sigh, I'm not going to correct myself, but I meant that in a no homo kind of way. And before you say it, it isn't "yes homo" at all.

He continued to shake my shoulder until I opened my eyes.

He had a smile and was looking at me.

"What?"

"Oh...ummm...."

"Goddamnit Dallon, if you don't tell him, I will."

"Shut up, Mike, I got this." His cheeks grew bright red.

"30 seconds."

"Hhh, fine, Brendon...umm...Mike is this really a good idea?"

"Yes, do it, and 15 seconds."

"Ok, ok, Brendon..." He glanced around before taking a deep breath.

"Ireallylikeyou."

"Dallon..."

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A/N: cliffhanger? Cliffhanger...

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