Forgotten Love

Chapter 4

The next morning comes around and before I have breakfast I go to reception and take Jacob off my list. I then walk back and have breakfast so I can start my classes as I am really looking forward to Connor's class before lunch.

As the last class of the day comes around I can't help but get excited and I can't stop the big smile that comes to my face. I walk in and see Con is already there with another guy talking to him. Connor looks up and sees me walk in and he calls me over. I walk over and Connor introduces me to his friend Ricky. I can see that Ricky is pretty protective over Connor as I was checking Connor out while he was talking to the class and when I looked over to Ricky he was looking at me as much as to say 'don't you dare hurt my friend'. When we get the chance to work on our projects Ricky comes over to me and he says "so I see you like Connor? I saw you looking at him". I nod my head and say "yeah I feel as if we maybe knew each other in maybe a past life. I know he said he had a boyfriend that he lost in an accident like I had". Ricky nodded and said "yeah he did and he was very heartbroken by it". I nod my head and say "well for someone who went through a brain injury and is still going through it. It's very hard to remember things. I lost all of my memories before I had my accident. I know what it is like not remembering things and I'm sure his boyfriend didn't mean it. I even had trouble remembering my own family. I know if I had Connor for a boyfriend before I had my accident then I would feel sorry for both of them. Connor has helped me out a lot these past few days". Ricky nods his head and says "yeah it would be and I know that Con went through a lot after. He worked really head to forget about him and that was what bought him in here. I tell you what seeing him like he was when he was in here was really hard. Our friends did try to help him out of it but we couldn't so we had no choice but to let him go to be in here and he has turned out so much better since he was in here and then when he came to work here he was a lot better". I nod my head and can't help but feel sorry for Con losing his boyfriend like that.

Just before the class ends I had a thought for a song. I was about to put it down on paper but class ended so I said goodbye to Con and Ricky and make my way to the coffee shop in the hospital.

While I sit there and have my hot chocolate I scribble some words down on my pad. As I do that I can't help but think that some of these things I have done. How I don't know.

The next day during our class Connor walks over to me and says "how's the song coming"? I shrug my shoulders and say "ok I guess". He looks at me and says "what's the matter with it? Can I look and maybe I can give you some pointers"? I shake my head and say "sorry I don't like showing people my work until it is completed". He nods his head and says "do you think it will be ready for the last day of class as that is when we are presenting them"? I nod my head and say "yeah once I have finished I will do the music and hopefully someone can play the guitar for me". Connor looks at me and he says "well I think I might have someone to do that for you. I have 2 friends that play the guitar maybe I can ask one of them to help you"? I nod my head and say "thanks mate I appreciate it". He grins at me and goes to walk away but I put my hand on his arm and say "hey do you feel like having a coffee sometime. It's my shout". He looks at me and smiles and says "sure how about tomorrow after class? I have the afternoon off". I nod my head and say "yeah great see you then". He nods his and walks away. I can't help the smile that appeared on my face and I know I defniantly felt sparks when I touched his arm. Man I can't wait until tomorrow now. I will see how that goes and maybe after I get out of here he might go on a proper date with me.

That afternoon after class I went back to the cafeteria and try to write my song but I can't as I keep daydreaming of Connor. I'm taken out of my thoughts by someone putting their hand on my shoulder and I look up to see a blonde girl and she says "hey couldn't help but see you here yesterday and now today. Are you visiting someone"? I shake my head and say "no I am here in the rehab ward for a month because I have depression after I had an accident and got a brain injury. I couldn't do anything I was so depressed from my headaches and I couldn't go out. My boyfriend was getting the shits with me because I didn't want to go out anymore". She smiles and nods her head and says "so your gay but where is your boyfriend, I would have thought that he would want to spend every minute he could with you"? I shake my head and say "oh he is my ex now. I caught him cheating on me at the beginning of the week. He was sat in a café when I went to get a few things I needed and I caught him kissing a girl. So I sent him a message and told him we were done. He tried to come crawling back but I was just done with him. We used to fight at least once or twice a week and I was jack of it so I ignored him and he finally got the message. He wasn't happy I signed myself in here". She looks at me and says "can I sit here"? I nod my head and she sits in the chair opposite me.

I get up and get her a coffee and myself a hot chocolate. I also got us a muffin each. I took them back to the table.

We eat and drink in silence and then these words come to me. I know I want to write a song for Connor. I pick up my pen and scribble the words down that I thought off and once again I can't help but think that I have done things like that. I think so hard as to how but I can't. The girl opposite me said "are you ok? You have a frown on you face and I'm Stella by the way". I put my hand out and say "I'm Troye and yeah sorry I have to write this song for one of my classes and every time I think of these words they seem to bring back memories but I don't ever remembering doing that. It's so frustrating". She looks at me and grabs my hand again and she says "sometimes you will get these memories. In a way it's good as you are starting to remember things. I work in the brain injury ward so I have some knowledge of them. Tell me what you can't remember. Like can you remember when you came out and did you have a boyfriend before your ex"? I shake my head and say "I can't remember my child hood and my mother reckons I had a boyfriend before my ex but I can't remember that either but she said he was the love of my life. She thought I would marry him one day but I don't remember any of it".

I put my head in hands as I am frustrated with myself. I just can't remember and it is really getting to me. I feel Stella touch my arm and she says "hey don't be so hard on yourself. You might never remember and you might remember. It's a good sign that you are remembering some things so hopefully those memories might come back or they might not but you need to make you own again now. You are still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. That's what my mum always says anyway". I can't help but laugh at her as she says that. That's something my own mother would say. The day fly's by after I had that talk with Stella and she told me she might see me the day after tomorrow. Before I know it it's time for bed.