Forgotten Love

Chapter 6

The next 2 weeks fly by and I have gotten the song finished and gotten to know Connor a lot better. I now have his number and we text each other nearly every night. The end of my third week there comes around and before I know it I have to present my song in class the next week. I am nervous to say the least that I have to present something so personal to other people. My flash backs are coming more frequent now and I have spoken to Stella more about it as we have become good friends and she will sit with me every afternoon and she has spoken to a doctor she knows and I have also spoken to him about them. With what I have been seeing in my flash backs he seems to think it was someone really close. I think more about it, then when I saw Stella yesterday I told her what he said and showed her my song and she said the same thing. She thinks it's from an old boyfriend. I know it's not Jacob so it has to be the boyfriend I had before my accident. If only I could remember his name and what he looked like.

I work on the music all weekend with Connors friend JC and I have it all together on Sunday afternoon. I was just saying goodbye to JC when he turned to me and said "you like Connor don't you"? I nod my head and say "yes I do but we both are not ready for a relationship yet. He has been hurt and I need to get my mental health better before I can have a boyfriend plus I need to see who these flash backs are all about first. I need to get all of that under control first". He nods his head and says "yeah I know and I know Connor is battling his own demons himself what with his ex-boyfriend when he had the accident. Don't say anything to Connor but he has been having so much trouble with that lately but I don't know what has triggered it. I am pretty sure it was when you first came in so whether he feels guilty to his ex for having feelings for you or not. I don't really know". I nod my head and say "yeah I know how he feels. Between you and me the flash backs we think are about my ex. If they are then I need to find him and apologise to him. I treated him like shit when I didn't know who he was and I feel so awful that I treated him that way". He nods his head and we walk out together to his car.

I look at my phone and see that I have just enough time to get ready for my date with Connor. We having been these date at least twice a week. I walk back to my room and have a quick shower so I can get ready to go.

Whilst having a shower I think more on these flash backs. I know I just started to get them when I first started to write my song and they became more frequent when I decided I would write it about Connor. I wonder if maybe Connor was my boyfriend or maybe I met him before my accident but I don't know who to speak to, to find out. I am not going to say anything to Connor in case it is. I know he was hurt immensely with his ex after he had his accident. I might message my sister later she might be able to help. I haven't spoken to mum much since my accident. I don't think she ever got over the fact that I didn't remember my boyfriend.

I was taken out of my thoughts by a knock on the door and I walk out of the bathroom with just a towel around me and see Connor standing there. My face goes fifty shades of red when I see him there and I am just in my towel. I open my mouth to say something but I can't because nothing comes out. I am so embarrassed but Connor just laughs and says "Tro as much as I would love to see you naked right about now. It's too soon for starters and if you don't hurry we will be late". I nod my head and grab my clothes and say "make yourself at home I will be ready in 10 minutes". He laughs again and says "you are so a girl taking more than 10 minutes to get ready". I flip him and turn to my back just to hear him laugh again and this time he also wolf whistles and says "damn Tro you're scorching hot". I roll my eyes and hurry to get ready.

We finally make it to the amusement park that we were going to and I can see that Connor is so happy. He has a camera around his neck so he can take photos. As it gets darker we decide to go on the Ferris wheel. We stop up the top and the view is heavenly. I pull my phone out to take a picture of the view and the sunset. I was about to take another one but I see a flash and when I look over I see Con with his camera up taking photos of the view but with me in them. I don't mind though as I know this makes him happy. I can see the smile on his face and he is positively glowing.

I would love to see his smile more but sadly after next week I don't think I will unless he wants to see me and after what his friend told me today he thinks Connor is scared and trying to work out his feelings.

I am lost in a world of my own but I am bought out of it by a hand on my arm and a voice saying "you fed up with me already"? I look at Connor and realize that he spoke to me and I said "sorry Con I was miles away. What did you say"? He looks at me and says "I said you fed up with me already". I laugh and say "no sorry I was thinking that I love your smile and would love to see you smile all the time. But sadly my time is up next week and I won't get to see your smile". Connor turns to me and says "I would love to see you more too Troye but I am trying to work something out at the moment and it is so hard trying to decide what I want". I look at him and say "Con if it's about us wanting to get to know each other more? I can wait and just stay friends for a bit. I don't mind it's just that I have never felt this way about anyone and want to stay friends and go out as friends. I need to sort a few things out as well, you see what I never told you or anyone else in the ward I have been having flash backs and I think they may be about my boyfriend I had when I had the accident and I want to work those out before I commit to another relationship. I want to have a relationship with you Con but one that hold no regrets for either of us". Connor nods his head and says "yeah I need to sort stuff out about my ex as I said I still have feelings for him and I also have feelings for you so can we maybe take it slow and just stay as friends for a bit"? I nod my head and say "yes as long as I see that smiling face when we do get to go out as friends? Con I love your smile and not to mention your eyes. They captivate me whenever you smile at me". I see the blush creeping up on Connors cheeks and I laugh at the sight as it is beautiful.

The night draws to a close before we know it and just as Con was about to leave he leaned in and kissed my lips. I felt a spark go through my body as he kissed me and man I want to feel more of them but I can't as I also had another flashback at the same time, but this time I started to see someone kissing me and I swear it was Connor when he pulled away in my flashback. I also had another one of the day I had my accident. It was like the kiss sparked that in my brain.

I also know that Connor needs to sort some stuff out as well and I will be a gentleman and let him sort that out and come to me when he has sorted it out.

We said goodbye and that we would see each other tomorrow before I walked into the ward and into my room. I need to speak to someone but I don't think my sister can help me with this as she wasn't there when I had dates with my ex. I pull my phone out of my pocket and text JC to see if we can talk. He texts me back and says yes so I ask him if he can meet me for coffee before my classes start in the morning and I know he will be there for my class with Connor as I am presenting my song tomorrow. He tells me that he will meet me at 7.30 am tomorrow morning at the coffee shop opposite the hospital. I agree to that and put my phone on charge before I do my nightly routine. I set an alarm just before I got into bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I wake up and get up ready to shower so I can meet up with JC. I just have a few questions to ask him about Connor and I am hoping he might know his ex.

I walk over to the coffee shop and see JC sitting at a table. I walk up and ask what he wants and he tells me he will have a latte. I laugh and say "you are so like Connor". He nods his head and I walk over to order what we are having.

We sit there talking for a bit and JC says that yes he did know Connor's ex but he wouldn't tell me what his name or anything just that they had never seen Connor so happy unless he was with his boyfriend. I nod my head and think to myself great he loved him he won't ever go for me. We said our goodbyes and that we would see each other in Connors class.