Night in the Ruts

It's Just the Universe's Way of Fucking You Up - Nicky and Steven

//Nicky\\

        It's just the Universe's way of fucking you up.

        Man, that couldn't be more true.

        The door clicked shut behind us with a snap! that left us in an eerie silence.  This had to be done.  I'm sure she'd take it well.  Me, on the other hand... This has to be done, this has to be done, this has to be done...

        Yeah, just keep tellin' yourself that, buddy boy.

        Oh, please.  I've seen the way they look at each other.  They were in love, obviously.  And evidently they still are in love.  Yes, it hurts a little bit to know this now, but it was unavoidable.  Predictable even.  It's time to acknowledge the fact that she'd rather be with him than me.  I've kept her this long, and now I'm starting to think that maybe it was wrong.  Selfish of me to hold on.  I should've done this sooner; let her go back to him earlier.  But I didn't.  And I feel horrible for it.  But why should I feel bad?  He broke up with her.  He didn't want to, obviously, but he did.  And then who was there but little old me to swoop in and sweep up the broken pieces, making her feel happy again while she slowly got over it.

        But she wasn't over it.  She never was.  That's what heartbreak does to ya.  Fucks.  You.  Up.

        "Are you alright?" Charlie asked, breaking me out of my reverie.

        My eyes flutter up to meet hers.  "Yeah.  Yeah.  Fine."

        "So what's wrong?" she asks after a minute, even though I just said I was fine.

        I let go of her hand.  "Okay, here's the problem," I begin slowly.  "Remember all the way back to junior year for me, wouldja?"  She nods, remembering. "Normalcy.  Best friends, rejecting drugs... Right?"  She nods again.  "Then you met him that summer."  She nods again.  "Pretty fucked summer?"

        "Yeah," she says with a light chuckle.

        "So we agree.  How about last summer?" I ask.  "Pretty fucked?"

        "Uh, not so much, really," she says looking at me.

        "So you're telling me you're happy?"  Admittedly, I'm surprised.

        "Well, yeah," she says, looking just beyond my left shoulder now.

        "Are you really?  Charlie... This whole thing is... You see, the Universe, okay?  The Universe needs to be balanced.  And well, when he broke up with you, you were sad; out of love; am I right?"

        "Sorta..."  I can tell she really doesn't believe in this Universe shit.  But then again, it is kinda far fetched, don'tcha think?  I can also tell that she really doesn't really want to talk about the Universe because like I said, she thinks it's just north of crazy.

        "Okay, so in order to keep that Equilibrium, you and I... You know.  And now here we are, a year later.  It seems you've made nice with Steven?"  She nods again, blushing.  "Tell me, honestly, who you'd rather be with."  I already know the answer, though.

        "You," she whispers.

        I shake my head.  Not the correct answer.  Nor is it the truth.  "We both know that's not true," I state.  "Charlie, you're in love with him.  And that's totally cool.  But what's not cool is that you're with me.  If you love a person, you've gotta be with that person, not someone else.  I think... If we just... Look," I sigh, finding this a lot harder than I expected.  "He wants to be with you; you wanna be with him.  Charlie, as a person who loves you and has your best interests at heart, I really think that it would be best for all of us if we just go back to the way things were during junior year..."