Night in the Ruts

Hypothetical Slush - Charlie

1974

I haven't talked to Steven in a long time. I've tried calling, but he's always sleeping or busy. I was told not to come over because he was sick. But I went over anyway.

Okay, fine. 'A long time' was only four days, but I decided to steal a can of soup from the cupboard and drive over to the apartment on the fourth day of nothing.

And sick he was.

Depressed, more like. Though I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a side effect of one of the drugs. He was slouched on the couch, staring at a wall with a bottle of Jack and a cigarette. He sat up, kind of, when he saw me. "Hey, Charlie," he mumbled.

"Hi..." I leaned down to kiss him but it was light and quick and lacked any feeling. His bandmates were nowhere to be found.

"What're you doing here?" he asked, still dull. His eyes are all red around the rims, as though he'd been crying or something.

"Joe told me you were sick," I explain, setting the can of soup that was in my pocket onto the table beside the couch. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he lied. "I'm fine."

He's not fine in any way I can tell. I sat down next to him, but it's like he didn't even notice. He didn't scoot closer, put an arm around my shoulders, or even intertwine his fingers with mine. Absolutely nothing. As if I was sitting next to an empty shell, void of all emotion. "Are you sure?" I finally asked.

"I said I'm fine," he replied tightly, still staring at the spot on the wall.

"Okay," I said, shrugging like I wasn't bothered by this.

And so we sat. Yes, I was bored out of my mind because it was silent and I'd feel bad if I got up and left, but I stayed nonetheless. I'm not sure how long I sat there next to him, but it seemed like hours before the door opened.

I was so relieved when Joey walked through the door, followed by a pretty red-headed girl. Steven looked up at them for only a minute. Joey shook his head and led the girl inside. I smiled and waved, he grinned back, but then his smile faltered. He spun back around to face the girl. "Uh, I forgot to buy, uh, more... Cigarettes," he says to her. "For Steven," he adds.

The girl smiles. "I've got some right here–"

Joey cuts her off quickly. "And... Eggs. Dammit, Julia, I forgot to buy eggs again! Let's go buy some eggs. C'mon."

The girl named Julia frowns as Joey drags her out of the apartment, leaving me alone again. "Bye Joey," Steven muttered after the door was shut.

"She seems nice," I say in hopes of maybe breaking the silence.

"Yeah," he says. And then he takes a drink of the alcohol. The cigarette had long since gone out.

"Where's Joe, Tom, and Brad?" I ask.

Steven shrugs, still not looking at me. "Tom and Brad're with Joey."

"But Joey was just here," I say, thankful that he's at least talking now.

"He was?" Steven asks.

"Yeah," I say. "You said bye to him a few minutes ago. Remember?"

"Oh. Yeah."

I sigh then, leaning back and putting my feet on the table. "Steven," I sigh again. "What's wrong?"

He doesn't immediately answer. He takes his time of finishing off the last few drops of alcohol in the bottle, then says flatly, "Bad week."