OCD// a.g - t.a

3

July 13

red. red is all i can see as i wash my hands i have scrubbed them raw again. the thought of dirt under my nails or on my skin sickens me to the point i wash my hands again.

some say i'm being irrational, they think i'm a freak. scrubber girl; they call me. but i pay no mind to them as long as i'm clean. that's when it's bad, when they fill my locker with dirt. or when they "spill" milk on me during lunch.

i don't eat lunch from the cafeteria, i bring my own. because it's more sanitary. i don't sit with anybody at lunch either.

i had friends, but they all left after it got so bad I wouldn't let any of them touch me because they weren't clean

unlike most people my age i enjoy cleaning. i cannot sleep if something is dirty. i only allow myself sleep when everything is clean. clean. clean. that's all i think about these days. but it's okay as long as i am clean.