OCD// a.g - t.a

22

January 12

the pain never ends, it keeps spiraling out of control.

i am in the hospital, the same one that tate died in, the same one that hold so many bad memories.

i'm here on suicide watch.. again. [A/N please feel free to message me if you ever feel like doing something drastic, I'm here for you ily!] a life without tate is a life i don't want to live.

they make me go to therapy, and they make me stop cleaning, they are trying to drive my crazy.

therapy doesn't help, and provoking me from cleaning will only make me want to do it more.

my mom is disappointed i know that for a fact, but she doesn't understand what it's like to love a person so much and then have that all ripped away from you.

at first i was angry, angry at the world for taking him away, angry at myself for not being able to save him, then it felt like a dream, no a nightmare that i just wanted to wake up from, and now it's like a huge tornado is spiraling up inside of me and it's main purpose is destruction and it's on the pathway to destruction and nothing can stop it.

it hurts.