OCD// a.g - t.a

26

April 1

today i am free, today i don't carry around a constant heaviness today i am floating, today is the day i see tate again.

i have no goodbyes to make because when i was in need no one was there. i was released.

i am standing on the Stewran bridge ready to jump. i can only hope tate isn't too disappointed as i climb atop the railing not even second glancing the sign that clearly reads "caution long fall stay behind railing!!"

my mind is like fireworks. 1,000 memories of tate and i laughing together, him helping me. his understanding. his being there. i remember the way when he laughed his eyes would crinkle up and his nose would twitch, and i think "is this what he would want?" no no it isn't and for a moment i almost step back onto the bridge until I remember how he didn't deserve to die. if anyone i should have been the one dead so with tate consuming my mind and heart i say goodbye. thank you, journal for keeping my thoughts. i wonder who will find you. maybe another young girl will find this. maybe it will help her. maybe someday they will tell my story but for now all I can say is goodbye and farewell. remember me.

-Alina