There are Many Flowers in Seoul

Chapter Eighty-Four

It wasn't the warmest of nights, and Rose wished that she'd had the time to grab a coat before her mother had marched her back to the elevator, the envelope from Si-woo and the cat abandoned on the kitchen counter, utterly forgotten.

Fortunately, there was no risk of a repeat of her disastrous first day at the studio when Tae-won had tricked her into thinking that she was trapped on the roof with him and she'd almost fallen off the side of the building trying to escape. The elevator stopped in a small glass atrium atop the building, and the women were able to safely walk through the unlocked doors and out into the open.

Large sunken planters surrounded wooden decks, chairs, and small tables which reminded Rose of many of the cafés alongside the Han. Strings of white lights hung from the walls and round floor lights lined the pathway. They were surrounded by towering buildings on all sides. Many of the windows were illuminated and glowed with golden warmth against the dark sky, figures passing behind the glass, oblivious to the gravity of the conversation these two women were about to share on Rose's last night in Seoul.

'I'd wondered why you hadn't emailed,' Lily said as they walked together toward the edge of the rooftop. Rose lingered back, but Lily perched on the edge of the wide ledge. It was a safe enough distance to keep her from falling down to the street below, but Rose had no taste for heights anymore and was content to watch the city slumber from farther back. Oblivious to her daughter's hesitation, she asked, 'Did you think we'd come and get you?'

'I thought Dad would,' Rose admitted.

'He almost did a few times,' Lily said. 'If it wasn't for your uncle Robert holding him back, you'd have been dragged home weeks ago.'

Rose had been surprised that her father had let her leave the country in the first place. He'd always been an overprotective man, and she suspected that her free-spirited mother had won several arguments before he'd begrudgingly agreed to the trip. After her recent escapades he probably wouldn't let her out of the house by herself until she was thirty. Rose had been plagued with images of living out the rest of her days surrounded by armed guards or transported around in a glass-walled vehicle much like one used by the Pope.

'What stopped you?' Rose asked, imagining that her mother must have been tempted to step in the moment she realised things couldn't have been going well. If Rose had been behaving like the tourist she'd promised she'd be, she'd have sent reams of photographs home to her parents to prove that they were right to trust her in a foreign country. The lack of communication spoke volumes about the shame she felt for the way she'd behaved. 'You must have known I'd get into trouble over here by myself.'

Lily smiled. 'Well, you are my daughter. This was never going to be an easy trip for you, even with Yuta and Hitomi. In fact, I imagine Hitomi's presence made it worse.'

Rose dragged over a nearby chair and dropped down into it heavily, as if all the weight of the recent weeks was on her shoulders. She leaned forwards, her elbows on her thighs, and pushed her fingers through her dark hair. 'I couldn't do it, Mum. I couldn't have the same experience that you did when you went to Japan.'

Lily tilted her head and sighed softly. 'I didn't want you to, Rose. No one could ever have the same experience I did. They'd need your father for that, and Akane, Isao, Robert and Grace. This was always going to be your trip. Your experience. You were meant to find something that was yours, not something that had already belonged to someone else.' Rose pressed her hand against her heart. 'My experience is in here, with me. No one else can have it. Not even you.'

'I just wanted the happiness you had,' Rose sniffled. She rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes. The harder she tried to stem the approaching tears, the more determined they were to appear. They rolled over her cheeks – fat, salty and sorrowful – and Rose wiped them away as quickly as they came. 'It was so horrible. All I did was argue and cry and get my heart broken. Why was it like that?'

'I don't know, sweetheart,' Lily said. Unable to stand the sight of her child crying, she left her perch, brought over a chair of her own, and sat beside Rose on the wooden terrace. Hugging her daughter tightly, she said, 'You poor, silly thing. That's just what life is. It's not a fairytale. It's not all pumpkins and fashionable shoes. It's a horrible, confusing mess and we just have to make the most of it.'

'But you and Dad –'

Lily blamed herself for Rose's idealistic notions about her relationship with Takashi.

When they'd met, Takashi had been something of a playboy. He called women Flowers, not in kindness, but because he imagined them to be quick to wilt and fade after a few dates and liked to break up with them before their beauty was lost in his estimation. He was exactly the kind of man she'd hated at the time – and still did, to some extent – but their time together had shown him that the right woman was forever beautiful in the eyes of the person who loved her, and she had come to appreciate his kindness and sincerity.

Naturally, Lily hadn't wanted to tell her daughter what a terrible man her father had once been for fear of sullying their familial bond. Besides, Lily hadn't been the perfect woman at the time, either. Riddled with doubts and crippled by the heartbreak her cheating fiancé had caused, she'd turned to alcohol and sarcasm to cope, kept the people she loved at a distance, and bitterly resented Grace for dragging her overseas when all her aunt had wanted to do was to share the love of her home country and eventually pass away in its embrace.

A lot of good had come from her first trip to Japan, but there were a lot of dark memories associated with those times, too.

'We had our fair share of arguments and trials to overcome,' Lily interrupted. 'We were also far older than you. Well, a little older. Well, your father was. The point is,' she said, getting back on track, 'that when I was nineteen, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I went off to university, dated a lot, got engaged and that didn't end well, then Grace dragged me to Japan and you know the rest. I want you to find your path, darling, but I also want you to live your life. After all, that was what you asked us for, wasn't it?'

'If I'd known it would be like this, I wouldn't have.'

'But you didn't know. No one does. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow! Maybe my business will fail. Maybe I'll fall in love with your uncle Ikuto. Not likely, because he's an idiot, but no one can predict five minutes ahead, let alone five hours, days, or years.'

'Then my path –'

'Is always at your feet. No matter what choice you make or where you go, that path is never gone. It winds around and takes us to strange places, but we never stray from it. As long as you are alive and you are moving forwards, you are on a path. My sweet Rose,' she said, looking down at her daughter's beautiful, confused face, 'you did exactly what I hoped. You had an adventure, and you experienced a real life. It was awful and you got hurt, and I wish you hadn't almost toppled my newest business venture in the process, but it was real and it was yours. Whether you regret this time or look back on it with fond memories, it doesn't matter. It's yours and you'll keep it with you forever.'

'Do I have to keep Tae-won with me forever?' Rose asked miserably.

'No,' Lily said, hugging her daughter warmly. 'No, we can leave him here along with his terrifying fans.'

'Mum,' Rose said, her voice muffled beneath her mother's arms, 'when we go back to Tokyo, can you tell Dad all of this so he doesn't ground me forever?'

'That depends. Did you buy me a souvenir?'

'No...'

'Sorry,' Lily joked, 'you're on your own. Think of it as more experience in living your own life.'

'You're a terrible mother,' Rose complained. 'But I love you anyway, I guess.'

'I love you too, even though you're a pain in my arse. Just do me one favour once we're back in Tokyo?'

'What's that?' Rose asked, ready to agree to just about anything if it meant she had salvaged yet another relationship before her time in Korea was through.

'Don't date any more celebrities.'