Short Stories

Fangs and ...Fangs(?)

As usual, people were dying, screaming in silence, and I was fishing. The sky was unpleasantly clear and the wind next to the lake barely comforted me. The pier was hot against my butt and the sun blinded me from the sky, the surface of the water, and that damn shiny leaf.

I cast a tiny fish into the water and strangely felt an immediate tug. Feeling a little indignant, I yanked right back, fishing out a glossy, silver, dripping wet... wolf. I almost dropped it right back in, but it was really stuck on my fishing line. I had wasted one fish on a wolf cub I couldn't eat. Huh, it looked passed out, yet I guess wolves are so insatiable that they eat and swim in their sleep.

My butt was already roasting and I had plenty of fish, so I got up and brushed myself off. Grabbing my stuff, I looked up and was blinded before I judged the time to be about noon. I took the wolf with me too as I walked home, picking common plants I saw along the way.

.....

The forest floor was speckled with light and had a coolness the lakeside did not. The smell of it was sharp and yet seemed to dull the senses. Summer had brought with it verdant leaves and quite refreshing breezes. As I heard the leaves rustle, I thought this was the effect of the latter, but no, it was a falling projectile.

I could applaud myself for keeping a straight face even though something had landed on my head. Too bad I was holding things and dead set on going back home. I half hoped the wolf would pick up whatever it was and throw it to the ground so I could step on it, but it didn't. I let out a light sigh.

.....

Back at home, I towelled the wolf off and, seeing that it had no injuries, left a few potions and pills to help with internal bleeding. He could eat it if he wanted to, because I wasn't sharing my fish with him. I then left to take a shower, only remembering I had something on my head when I sprayed it off. It was a bat. I still finished my shower, though.

Afterwards, I put the two of them together. Before either of them woke up, I had an idea.

"Oh my, who are you?"

"Me? I'm a self meanie. How 'bout you?"

"Me? I'm also a terrible person! If I don't insult people, my toungue starts to go numb."

"Indeed, indeed. There are many ways to be terrible, but we had really got it! The world should praise us for how amazing we are-,"  I was interrupted by a nip on the hand holding the bat. Politely, I turned to look at it, seeing it glaring at me. I dropped it. I left the wolf in its care and went to watch TV.

"No, Bella-"

"Edward, I love Emilia." Someone butt naked blocked the screen. I used my legs to shift my lying position on the couch, but he moved to block it again. I extended my legs and caught a glimpse of shiny vampire, but he blocked me again. I sighed.

"You don't like BellaXEdward otp?"

"What the?" His lip curled up a bit.

"Come on, it's a shiny vamp pursuing a human girl. Can't he relax in bed?"

He looked disgusted, "How could a vampire pursue a human?! She barely survived the transformation and that's not even accurate!"

"Oh, what's accurate?"

"I said it's not accurate! You're stupid, you ignorant- Vampires are not dead, we do not lower ourselves into drinking inferior animal blood, and delicate, useless vases are the taste of those malformed mutts who can't fuck without the moon."

"So you have a lover back home? Does she think you're cheating?"

"??? Wait, that's not the problem."