Even lovers drown (Jerrie)

Part twenty-six

Perrie:

J,

I hope that one day you will read these letters. That you will sit down and take them from this old shoe box and read. Read and understand what I was unable to explain. I like to sit at my writing desk when I pour out my heart to you, this desk reminds me of you. Do you remember making me buy it? You joked that I could sit here to write love letters to Zayn while he was on tour. I wish I knew then, that I would never truly love anyone but you. That you would be the only one I would sit at this desk and dream of.

I haven't seen you since you became engaged. I'm sorry if it seems I'm not happy for you. I want you to be happy and I hope beyond hope that you are. I have kept my distance to try and train my heart to not shatter when it sees you. I'm afraid I will see your brown orbs and my heart will burst. That I will stain the floor I stand on with my love. That it will pour from my mouth as I try to tell you I love you. That it will bleed from my ears as I hear you.

You will marry Jed. Even as I write this I can't believe it. I have already committed to you with my heart and soul. I committed to you with my future and my dreams. I saw you, as you saw me. I saw your highs and lows and I knew. There is only you. And I wish. God how I wish I had told you then. On that first day. When you looked at me and saw Perrie. I wish that I had told you I was home.

Tell me how to continue without you. Tell me how to stop my heart from breaking again and again as I look at you and know that I will have to survive forever without you. I don't think I'm strong enough for that.

Forever yours,
Perrie x

A/N: Hello lovely readers, I just wanted to say thank you for your involvement in this book. I've loved reading all your comments and feelings about what's being happening. Enjoy your weekend loves xxx

P.S For anyone who doesn't know the singer Dermot Kennedy he is amazing, I highly recommend checking him out x