Ashes of My Mind

More Alive

I've never felt more alive
As cold sweat runs down my back
And blood drips from holes in my hands
My problems made more aware
The pain I have been feeling
Inside and out
As my heart begs to be taken out
From under the enormous weight on it
As the glass cuts deeper down
Tearing itself out
A bullet sliced through my dead organ

Time heals all wounds
Maybe some
But not all
Not this one
Eventually it will scan
Nothing more
It will never heal
Only leave a jagged scar
And hollow heart
That aches

I realize that I have to carry on
With every breath I take
The pain will slowly fade
Stopped stabbing at me
And jabbing
At the that keeps me alive
Here on this planet
Where I have people I love
And friends I value so much
And I need to carry on
For them
For me
When I see them
Sometimes the stabs
Aches
Jabs
Pain
All get shoved down
I will forget it's there
For a moment
I feel normal
And I laugh
Smile
And feel content
That's what keeps me going