Brighter Days || Taekook

Part 29

"Hyung," Taehyung squeaks and closes the window with the offending video. "I didn't- I wasn't-"

"There's no use in denying it, I've been watching for a minute or two," Yoongi grins, and he looks all too delighted. "To be honest you were the last person I expected to find watching porn in here, and I've walked in on most of the others at least once already."

He's teasing and Taehyung knows it. He can't help the blush though. Fuck, he's so embarrassed about being caught. What if Yoongi tells the others? Hoseok will never let him live this down.

"But then again you weren't really watching porn for the usual reasons, were you?"

Taehyung sits up ramrod straight when he hears that and watches warily as Yoongi comes in and closes the door behind him. He takes a seat on the uncomfortable black couch, leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, fingers clutched together. The teasing expression is gone from his face, instead replaced by something that Taehyung can't quite put his fingers on. Worry? Confusion?

"What do you mean?" Taehyung blurts out. He just hopes for the ground to open up beneath his feet and swallow him whole. This entire situation can't get any more embarrassing or uncomfortable than it already is.

"I mean that you just stared at the video completely motionlessly and weren't affected at all." Yoongi's eyes dart down to Taehyung's crotch briefly to show what he means by those words before he makes eye contact again. Taehyung shifts and rests his hands on his crotch, although Yoongi's right. There's nothing there to hide. "And we both know that just watching isn't really how porn works. Which makes me wonder what you were actually doing with that video."

Taehyung has no excuse. He wants to say something, parts his lips already to respond, but there's nothing coming out. There's no good argument he can retort with that Yoongi would actually believe.

"So do you want to tell hyung what's going on? The panic attack last night? The porn? The fact that you're again trying to push us out? Especially Jungkook. He looks like a kicked puppy whenever you turn away from him." Yoongi frowns. "Don't look so surprised, you're not as subtle as you think."

Dumbstruck. Taehyung is absolutely dumbstruck. He didn't think that anyone had noticed. But here's Yoongi proving him wrong. And if he can believe Yoongi's words – and really, Yoongi has never given him a reason not to believe him – Jungkook has noticed too. Jungkook's hurting because of him. The last thing Taehyung wants is to cause Jungkook pain.

The fly of his pants is still open and Taehyung fiddles with it to close it with shaky fingers. Yoongi is silently sitting and waiting for an answer. His eyes are so intense that Taehyung fears Yoongi can see right through him. He knows that trying to convince Yoongi that he's fine would be pointless. Yoongi is smarter than that. As much as it scares him, he knows that Yoongi knows him better than that.

"I promise that it's nothing you have to worry about, hyung," Taehyung settles on saying.

"But I want to worry about you, Taehyung. Let others help you for once. You might not believe it, but it helps a lot in taking the weight off of your shoulders. And even if you say that it's nothing I have to worry about, I will worry about it nonetheless."

Taehyung lowers his head. He can't look at Yoongi anymore. His words are too honest. If Yoongi knew, he wouldn't talk so kindly to him. There's no way he would. But he's suffering, and he's tired and scared, and the thought of sharing what's bothering him with someone else sounds nice. Nevertheless, he fears Yoongi would react negatively.

Would he tell the others? Of course. He would let Namjoon know, and as soon as Namjoon knows, Taehyung will be out of the band. Which is why he can't tell.