Brighter Days || Taekook

Part 35

Taehyung wakes up in a cold sweat. His heart is beating obnoxiously fast and a shudder wrecks his body. It takes him a few seconds to recognize where he is, but when he does the tension leaves his shoulders. His throat feels dry and he clenches his hands to fists to stop the slight trembling in them. His shirt sticks to clammy skin and it's disgusting.

After several deep breaths to help calm his racing heart, Taehyung climbs down the ladder as quietly as possible. He doesn't know how late it is, but he can hear Namjoon snore slightly. When he's down from the bed, he realizes that the mattress that Jimin occupies below his own is empty. Looking around, Taehyung takes note of the fact that all the other members are present.

He tiptoes to the door and opens it as quietly as possible, yet it still creaks. It's an issue that Yoongi has been meaning to fix for days now, but he hasn't gotten around to it yet.

There's movement and the rustling of blankets, and then Jin's quiet voice that's hoarse from sleep.

"Taehyung? What are you doing?"

"I'm just getting some water, hyung. Go back to sleep."

Jin mumbles some unintelligible words and Taehyung suspects that he won't even remember having woken up in the morning.

Taehyung never gets the glass of water. Instead he figures out what time it is (1:30 and a miracle that most of the members except for one are already asleep) and sits down on the couch, wraps himself in a blanket and tries to forget. He doesn't get nightmares all that often these days, but when they come they shake him up like a snow globe and the snow takes long to settle.

They don't leave him particularly scared these days, because Taehyung can differentiate the present from the past. He knows that what happened can't harm him anymore, but still the memories make him act irritated and twitchy. The only things that make him flinch these days are abrupt physical contact that can be misinterpreted as violence in the heat of the moment and loud noises, but after nightmares he can't really stand any physical contact for hours, if not days. The time after a nightmare is never fun, when he feels hands on his skin like dirty stains that he'll never be able to wash away.

Most of the time he doesn't even remember the nightmares, but the way his skin tingles and the phantom pains are answer enough. He might not have to prostitute himself for survival anymore, but the memories will always remain, and while he can deal with them rationally while awake, in his dreams he'll always remember the true horrors of his past.

The jingling of keys startles Taehyung out of the spiralling whirlpool that are his thoughts. It's Jimin who stumbles into the dorm wrapped in a coat and scarf, yet still shivering because January nights in Seoul are unforgivingly cold. Taehyung knows that all too well.

"I'm back," Jimin says as he first struggles out of his shoes and then out of his winter clothes.

"Everyone else is already asleep," Taehyung answers and pulls the blanket tighter around his body. "Where've you been?"

The dancer comes over to the couch and plops down next to Taehyung. Too close for Taehyung's comfort when the invisible hands still tug and pull, and he tries to inconspicuously put some more distance between the two of them.

"I've been bowling with some friends."

The answer comes quick as a shot. Taehyung probably wouldn't have questioned it in his tired state, but now that Jimin sits so close to him a whiff of something catches his attention. It's a sweet and floral smell, and it's the odour of a woman's perfume if ever Taehyung smelled one.

"Was it fun?" Taehyung asks nonchalantly.

Jimin shifts next to him and ends up closer again.

"Very," he says, before swiftly asking: "Why are you still up when everyone else is already sleeping?"