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Topanga was coming to rely largely on routine. It had been simple once; she'd get up, get ready, leave for work and eventually get back home later into the night. She'd known that for as long as she could remember and she'd become comfortable in the routine but lately, her day went differently. She'd wake up alone and for a moment, she'd be confused - always confused no matter how much time went by—before she realized that Tony wasn't there and that he wouldn't be there for a while.
She missed him.
God, she missed him so much. Topanga found herself looking for him in every part of her day. In the morning to kiss her and keep her from getting out of bed. In the notes that he sometimes left in her bag for her to find during the day. But more often, she missed the little things, like the snarky comments that he made every so often and the way he wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin in her shoulder when he wanted her attention.
Every so often, she'd pick up her phone and find herself dialling his number before she finally snapped back to her senses and remembered that she couldn't call him. Not unless she had to. She was the one who'd suggested that they needed time and she wasn't going to make it harder for either of them.
Topanga could go only a day without feeling the urge to call him, not just because she missed him but because she genuinely worried about him. They hadn't talked much about his other life even when they'd lived under the same roof and Topanga couldn't find a casual way to ask him what was going with the man in the suit. Instead, she found herself following his every move through the media. Every save that he made was on the television or on YouTube trending within hours and Topanga had never followed it so religiously.
She still saw him, of course, as she dropped the kids off at Rhodey's place—where he was temporarily staying—every weekend and it was just as painful being so close to him as it was to be far away from him. One Saturday, she'd dropped the kids off at his place and while she usually made a point of not leaving the car, she'd stepped in for a moment to discuss the details of Aaron's therapy with him.
