Confession

Chapter 2: What Lust Leaves Me With

Chapter 2

What Lust Leaves Me With

The video starts with a man doing his initial game of enabling the sexual hormones of the woman. It starts with a small and sweet kiss then, his hands freely roam around the body of the woman, her chest, her abdomen, her thighs, then her butt, and lastly her most sensitive zone. It was starting to become passionate and full of desires. The feeling of impatience suddenly sprouted within my gut. A small voice echoes inside my head and it says, "Disgusting. Disgustingly enticing."

As time passes by, all the kissing and touching turned into a more advance play of enticing the bodily pleasures and I was, without a doubt, hooked on it. From analyzing the facial expressions of male and female was full of hunger for each other and that ultimately made myself hungry for pleasure as well. I began to internalize their hunger for each other and all of a sudden, my body started to heat up.

I began to feel this mysterious sensation of wanting to explore the wonders of the body. I wanted to know and I wanted to feel the pleasure the woman in the video has felt. They were into the zone and I wanted to be in it too. Forgetting all of the problems existing in my head, my interest was all focused on the video which exudes carnal desires.

As minutes passed and the female would let out small moans of delight, I grew impatient. There was a sexual tension building up from inside of my body. It was slowly rising and intoxicating my whole being. My mind was trying fighting the sexual tensions with guilt nonetheless, morality right now is of no existence to me.

I want to feel the pleasure. I want to feel it. Being caressed, embraced, and made love to. I want to feel beyond happiness.

My breathing slightly increased as it began to feel moist down the area. 'It' started to ask for a physical sensation. It wants to get gently stroked and touched. It was an agonizing experience to fight the moral judgments inside my mind and what my body was screaming.

The moans from the video gets intense and hungry feeling inside me also starts to increase. I was in an internal battle of trying to break away from the video due to my morality and my desire to feel pleasure through sexual means.

All of a sudden, a voice pops out inside my head, "The more you try to fight it, the more it will hurt and bring you unsatisfaction. You will look for it even more and when you try to bottle all of the lust in, you will explode at one point and will regret everything. Satisfy yourself now and it'll be over. You'll even feel the pleasure your body wants."

However, another voice of reasoning pops in and tries to fight with the other thought. "You do not want to do the wrong thing, Eiddwen. Do not hurt yourself," it says.

But the other voice becomes stronger. "You are not hurting yourself. This is beneficial to your body and your incoming sexual life. What's the big deal, everyone does it, and you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. This will ease your pain and will make you forget all of the problems you have."

"Eiddwen, this is not what you really want. Remember what is right."

"There is no right and wrong. Those are just made-up standards. Listen to what your body wants."

"Don't do it"

"Do it."

"DON'T DO IT."

"DO IT!"

"DON'T DO IT!"

"DO IT!"

The moans from the video turns into screams of pleasure and the more the video got intense with a little touch of violence, the more the voice which my lust speaks in my head gets louder. The battle continues longer to the point my head was becoming a dreadful war. Take a peek inside my head.