Confession

Chapter 6: A Storm in My Heart

Chapter 6

A Storm in My Heart

I was in great turmoil. I was so confused for there are so many emotions inside my heart. At one point, I wanted to cry because I couldn't understand why I would laugh at such a scene. At one point, I wanted to laugh because it feels so ridiculous that I have suddenly become someone I didn't know. And at the same time, I feel so scared because I have never felt this way before. There was excitement in me for all the wrong reasons and there was this pent-up frustration because of extreme disappointment on myself. They all happen at the same time and it feels like I'm going to cross the bridge to insanity.

I stare at my hands as they unconsciously begin to tremble. Irritated, I balled my hands into fists and ran to the nearby wall. There was an uncontrollable urge to release all of the pent-up emotions building inside me.

"Stop f*cking trembling!" I yelled as I punched the wall with my left hand. I was expecting even just a simple tinge of pain but, to my surprise I could not feel anything. I punched the wall for the second time using my right hand but, it was harder. I still couldn't feel anything.

"You deserve this, Eiddwen."

*Thud!* *Thud!* *Thud!*

The sound of the wall being punched continued to resonate into my ears as I kept on hoping for the pain to start waking me up from this stupid dream. Wait, is this even a dream? My breath grew heavy and my eyelids were starting to droop down. Sweat was trickling from my temples as I tried to catch my breath. I was exhausted.

My arms grew heavy from being tired of punching the wall. I landed on my buttocks, hugging my knees. I still could not feel anything. My chest feels heavy. It's filled with heavy bags. I can't breathe.

It feels like I'm drowning...

My eye lids slowly gave in to exhaustion and before I could even think about it, everything went black. "You are disgusting."

A voice suddenly gave me a nudge to wake-up. "You are a disgusting sex-loving freak." The voice came from my right ear and all of a sudden, the white noises started to become louder. I covered my ears, in hopes of wanting the noise to disappear.

Suddenly, without notice, my limbs became motionless. I could not feel my hands and feet nor I could control them. "What the f*ck?!" I exclaimed in fear.

I could hear footsteps drawing closer. Slowly coming out of the shadows, I see myself crying while wearing the hideous smile with bleeding knuckles, and holding a knife. She was coming towards my direction.

"Trash like you, like me, we should burn in hell!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Gasping, I felt my eyes abruptly opening. As I catch my breath, I stood up and ran towards the light switches and hastily turned the lights on with trembling hands. Inhaling sharply, I felt my knuckles twitch in stinging pain.

"Ow," I mumbled, checking my knuckles.

They were bleeding and blood-clots were forming in between the protruding bones of my knuckles. F*ck, I need bandages.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I dragged myself towards the bathroom's medicine cabinet. As I opened the cabinet, I rummage for some bandages but, right after I found one box of them, a blade fell down. My vision gets sucked into the blade and my thoughts become blurry. I could mot think about anything but, I wanted to touch the blade.