By the Angel

Chapter 43

Clary's POV

So what Johnathan is telling the truth about one thing doesn't make the rest of it true.
"Johnathan just let me go, " I plea trying to talk some sense into the mad man that paces in front of me.

"I can't do that Clary, you're too important!"

"Important to who!" I scream as I shake the bars, letting my rage get the best of me again, "this isn't protection Johnathan it's imprisonment. What's the plan, John? You going to keep me here forever?"

"No of course not, only until Valentine is dealt with, only until its safe."

"And in the meantime what happens to my family? If I'm his target he will go after the ones I love."

"I've sent protection. They're safe."

"Oh, that's reassuring seeing as how you've been betrayed twice in the last thirty seconds." like I would take him at his word that my family is safe. His words are more unbelievable than his actions.

"Johnathan, if you can't keep me safe, why would I believe you can keep my family safe?"

He sighs taking my hand through the bars and squeezing it, "Clary..."

I dig my nails as hard as I can into his flesh and with a yelp he let's go, " touch me again and you'll lose a limb."

He sighs like he's disappointed as if he even has a reason to be.
"Don't look like such a wounded puppy dog, we both know you're a snake."

"Clary, please just talk to me."

"Words are coming out of my mouth, aren't they? What more do you want?" I snap growing tired of his games.

"Look there are things I want to ask you, humor me okay?"

"No, " I say without hesitation, even if he asks the simplest of questions I'm not giving him an answer. He doesn't get to bond with me or know me. He ruined any chance of that two years ago.

He stands up and I think he will finally leave me alone but instead, he turns his back to me and removes his shirt, when I see the deep scars matching my own part of me wants to cry, for me and for him.

The burn marks are what get me though, they're like mine only so much worse, Johnathan, that's..."

"It's okay Clary, I deserve this for what I did to you, I just wanted you to know if he did this to you I would understand. You owe me nothing but will you tell me?"

"My scars are almost identical," I admit. I shouldn't be talking to him at all, I should hate him, it's certainly easy to hate our father but then again our father has never looked at me like that. He really does look like a puppy dog.

That's what makes it hard to hate him, he just looks so broken. I see myself in his pain. "How long did he torture you?" I can't stop myself from asking. Chop it up to my morbid curiosity or my desperation for family. I always wanted a sibling, I have Simon but it's not the same. Maybe I'm developing some sympathy form of stalk home syndrome. Is that a thing? It should be.

"Pretty much since the day he adopted me." My heart aches for him and I hate that. I absolutely loathe myself for feeling anything other than hatred but it's only because I'm trapped in this six-foot box, once I'm out I'll go right back to despising him but for now... maybe a few more questions wouldn't hurt?

"How long did he hurt you?" Johnathan asks hesitantly as if I'm a bird he's terrified to startle. Perhaps he thinks if he oversteps his boundaries I'll fly away and if I did I would run face first into a metal bar because I'm trapped in a prison. A prison my brother who I'm starting to feel sympathy for put me in, I must not forget that.

"Well, my first memory of him is him dumping me out of my stroller so you tell me? Part of me thinks he was trying to kill me since birth but I kept on surviving, he didn't like that too much."

"Are we trading battle story's now sister?"

"NO!" I shout, more angry with myself that again my guard is down. Father was right about one thing blood calls to blood. That's the only explanation as to why I'm trying to spill my guts out to a psychopath.

He looks frightened again, though I have no idea why.
Guess he realized he frightened his trapped bird in the cage.
"Clary, I'm sorry..." he looks so distraught it tugs at my heartstrings.
Damn heart! He tried to kill you!
Then an idea forms, "Johnathan, you want to get to know me?"

"More than anything in this world Clary."

"Well then let me make a phone call."

"Clary... I..."

"That's the deal, Johnathan, reject it and I will never say a word to you again," I threaten even though chances are I would end up talking to him but he doesn't have to know that.

"Okay... one phone call, I don't want to keep you trapped I truly don't but I have no other means to keep you safe."

He holds out of the phone, as I reach through the bars my hand brushes his. I try not to flinch at the contact. He wants me to forget about what happened so bad, I can see in his eyes that he regrets it but it doesn't change things nor should it.

Who to call? I have so many options its hard to choose, I should call Luke or Simon but I just can't help myself. I dial Jace's number praying he answers.

Before it can even finish ringing a panicked Jace answers, " hello?"

"Clary! Are you hurt? Baby where are you? I've been going crazy!"

"I'm in prison, this is my one phone call." I joke trying to lighten the mood, the pain in his voice breaks my heart, I just want him to know I'm okay, I mean I'm really not being ripped away from my family is torture I wouldn't wish on my enemies.

"Clary, " Jace says desperate, "where are you?"
I can hear Simon in the background yelling for the phone followed by a loud crash. Despite my situation, I laugh. Somethings will never change, oddly I find comfort in their bickering right now. It's normal and the one thing that hasn't changed.

"Put me on speaker Goldilocks, " I say an idea forming in my head.

"Hi, Simon!"

"Clary, are you alone?"

"No, " I say wishing I were, then I could just tell them everything I know about my location which isn't much, to begin with. But I won't press my luck, Johnathan will never trust me with his phone alone, he knows the second he does I'll call the cops... or someone more helpful.

"Clary, where are you?"

"Into the wild." I say hoping Simon gets it, it's been years since we've seen that movie but it's worth a shot.

"Clary, " Jace says, " I lo..."

Before Jace can finish his sentence, Johnathan reaches through the bars and hangs up the phone.

"Why did you do that?" I say getting angry all over again, the sympathy I started to feel for him turning to hatred once more.

"Anything longer than a minute and they can trace you." He pockets the phone and then lets himself into my cell. My stomach immediately tightens, I promised to talk to him really talk to him and it scares me. Because I'm so forgiving, it's a trait I both love and hate about myself but right now I despise anything that lessons my rage.

He sits at the foot of my bed in indian style and I fight the urge to kick him off.

"I want to tell you, everything sister, I wasn't always a monster, you know." He says silently, the man that hurt me all those years ago I wouldn't believe that for a second but the guy standing in front of me looking so utterly lost... I could believe that. I want to believe that more than I should.

I wrap the sheet around me tighter as I prepare to hear a story that is sure to leave me grasping at the remnants of my hatred if it even exists at all by the time he's done.

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Published 5/14/19