Our Fate II ➰Shadowhunters➰ [Jace]

➰Chapter Thirty-five➰

➰Chapter Thirty-five➰

Even though the Shadowhunters wore all white, the atmosphere was a depressing, painful grey color.

Leah watched as the few remaining Silent Brothers wrapped the bodies of all the deceassed in a white veil and recited ancient prayers she couldn't understand. The brothers then proceeded to name all of their fallen kin.

All she could focus on were Clary and Jace, who were holding hands as they silently watched the ceremony. Her little sister looked beyond devastated and Jace didn't look much better, either. He'd known Jocelyn for almost no time at all, but Leah knew he was just trying to be supportive of Clary.

Leah, however, didn't know how to feel. She had never had any kind of mother-daughter bond with Jocelyn and she didn't really know her that well. All she knew about her came through either Clary or Dot, and still, it was biased and limited information. The last conversation she had with her haunted her. Jocelyn told her she loved her, but she didn't say it back to her. The worst part was that she knew she would have been lying if she did say it back.

She felt Isabelle grab a hold of her hand and squeeze in support, as they both watched in silence. "I'm sorry about Jocelyn."

"I never told her I loved her, you know." Leah admitted in a whisper. "And the worst part is that, I'm not sure I ever would have. I told her I forgave her, but I think she wanted us to someday rekindle our bond."

"She knew this was hard for you. She knew you had plenty to process, and I don't think she would've wanted you to rush into something you weren't ready for."

"And now we won't ever know if I'd ever be ready."

Alec suddenly interrupted them, walking slowly, yet cautiously. It was hard for Leah to picture the fragile, insecure man approaching her as the cold-blooded killer she had watched murder her mother in the security cameras. However, a stinging pain in her chest ensued as soon as he was within hearing range. "Leah... I... I wanted to speak to you."

"I'm not really in the mood for talking."

He nodded shyly. "I'm really sorry. I--I wasn't thinking clearly--"

"Not now, Alec."

"Please, tell me you'll forgive me someday..."

Leah's gaze momentarily shifted to his hazel eyes. As much as she tried, she was unable to show any emotions. It made Alec visibly uneasy. "I said not now."

Alec took the hint and remained silent, as Leah turned her attention to the Brother's words once again.

Brother Micah, Brother Enoch spoke gloomily.

"Pulvis et umbra sumus." The crowd chanted.

"We are dust and shadows." Leah translated in a whisper, feeling her eyes welling up against her will.

Brother Jeremiah, Brother Isaac said.

"For we are dust and shadows." The crowd chanted back.

"Jo..." Clary started, but was unable to finish before she choked. She turned to cry on Jace's shoulder, completely losing what little composure she had managed up to then. "M-mom."

Leah's heart broke when she saw her sister's tears. She didn't think twice before speaking up, making everyone's gaze fall back on her. "Jocelyn Fairchild."

"Ave atque vale." The crowd chanted.

Leah's cheeks were already flooded with tears and even though every single person was looking her way, the only two pairs of eyes she could focus on were Clary's and Jace's across the room. "Hail and farewell."