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My dad exhales really loud and stands up. im still looking at him not taking my eyes off for a second. "Where do u want me to start?" do u really need and answer for that. obviously from the beginning.
"from the beginning and i want the truth because im sick of this and i cant even remember the last time i even smiled."
"Jamie i want you to know im not a bad person. i love you and your mom very much. i wouldn't do anything to hurt you. i still cant believe," he says tears forming in his eyes."that my little girl got in an accident and cant remember her life. not even her own dad."
i choke down a wet ball in my throat. "tell me how mom died."
he stood there silent. after a while i got tired of waiting.
"DAD, tell me how mom died i diserve to know!" i could feel the tears. i was this close to flipping out. why cant i remember anything! this is stupid. i could feel adam tense up, his eyes glued on me.
"Your right you diserve to know. as you may have recently found out, ur mom is dead. i miss her very much Jamie. i love her, why do u think i married her? We both had a beautiful girl and we were very greatful for that. if only your mom were here to see how much you've grown in the past year." get on with it already old man we dont live forever.
"Your mom had cancer."
that second my heart ripped into thousands of peices and are not shattered all over the hospitals floor. time slowed down and i had to try so hard to keep up. the tears are closer and i felt someone sit by me and wrap their arms around my tiny waist. Adam. i turn and bury my face in his shoulder. we fit so perfectly.
"when she first told me she said it was already too late." his voice firm. "but i wanted to help, i did! she told me not to tell you cause' it would destroy you."
"so where was i when this happened?"
"im getting there. you were out with your friends doing what ever teens do these days. it was pretty late and she was worried. she told me she was sick and tired of all the stuff thats been going on. her job and everything. she stormed out of our room . i thought she might need some space so i left her be. but when i didnt hear the front door nor the car i got worried. i walked out of our room and there she was laying in the living room floor motionless."
i started crying but he continued.
"i tried ringing your phone a bunch of times but you wouldnt pick up. when you came home and saw your mother like that you had a breakdown. i couldnt believe i let this happen to you or her. you tried to get her to open her eyes but when you realized she wasnt coming back.."
"i couldnt accept it, so i met up with adam and stayed with him that night." i say whispering and finishing his sentence for him. They both just starred at me. then it hit me. i just remembered!
"OH MY GOD! i just remembered!" i was jumping up and down with the look of shock on my face.
"Do you maybe remember anything else.." adam asks. i close my eyes and try to catch anything that might help. after a while i gave up.
"no" i say sadly. i could see their hopes fade away. "where did Blake go?" i wanted to see him and talk to him.
"How should i know." jealous much?
"Dad, why didn't mom tell us before? she could've been alive right now." he walks over to my bed.
"i dont know sweety, i just dont know." the doctor walks in and im praying with good news.
"okay so i have some good news and bad news." like always "you will be released this afternoon." FINALLY! i fu@king hate hospitals. people die here..
"you will eventually get your memory back but itll take time and lost of help and sleep. But you must be patient. things dont just come to you, you have to work for it. again i am so sorry for what happened to you. oh and theres a young man here to see you i think he was here earlier."
blake.
"okay send him in." with that he leaves. out of the corner of my eye i see Adam get frustrated. what the hell is his problem. right then Blake enters and comes over to my bed with a chair and takes a seat.
"Jamie." he whispers. i dont respond. i cant. just let the tears fall. he wipes away some that escaped and running down my face.
"Im so sorry." he says still whispering. it must be hard for him. its hard for me. "You dont remember me nor the life that you had. and your probably wanting some space. so im ganna leave but i want you to know i love you and care about you. and i want to finish our date. so just call me when ever your ready."
with that said he lenas in kisses me gently on the lips and walks out the door. Another person i love dearly and care about, gone. just like that. i keep loosing someone, but i dont know why. its not like i wanted to loose my mom. or loose Blake.
Wount i ever be able to keep someone and not loose them? ever? i will never have a normal relationship with my dad it will always be awkward. you cant relive moments, but im ganna try everything in my power to try to make this work because i have nobody else. i have no connection with any of my other family members. no body i can lean on. no body that will stay by my side forever. they will all eventually walk out of my life like my mom and Blake.
oh how i will miss those days when you were too little to do anything nor to give a sh!t about the world.
Too bad you grow up.
YOU ARE READING
Help Me Remember
Romance"Do you not remember who i am?" the man asks me with so much hurt in his voice that that alone almost made me want to curl up and cry because i was letting him down, someone who i once knew and meant so much to me. just ripped out of my grasp and in...
