𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋 | 𝘺𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘮𝘪𝘯

▍THIRTEEN

"can you tell me about your life?" jimin asked yoongi from the floor, back against the carpet and eyes staring at the ceiling fan.

"my life?" yoongi asked from the couch and jimin nodded. "what specifically?"

"the beginning." jimin heard shuffling from above and sat up, seeing that the detective had moved to the ground and was sitting on the floor in front of him. he wore a very nice smile, one that showed his gums, and the glint in his eyes was kind and thoughtful. it almost made the younger male's breath catch in his throat. almost.

"well, i didn't really know my mother," yoongi started, keeping a comfortable eye contact with the doll and the smile on his face continued. "she probably was in my life for a short while, but i can't really remember much about her. i've always been told she just left my dad and me, but i also listened to family conversations when i shouldn't have, and heard the word 'cancer' pop up occasionally. actually, no, it popped up a lot. i was young so i didn't know but as i aged i realized she died of cancer. i hardly saw her because she was in the hospital constantly. my family still doesn't admit they lied to me but it's cool. i visit her grave behind their backs."

jimin watched yoongi as he voiced, admiring secretly the way he spoke. even about his dead mother, he spoke in such a soft and caring tone, one so soothing that jimin could fall asleep if he wasn't so engrossed in the story. yoongi continued to speak as he looked to the side.

"my dad worked with the police so i guess that's where i got my love for detective work. that and all the old detective movies he would watch every single day. he never got tired of them, and neither did i. i admired them so much that even at a young age i decided i would help others through being a detective. growing up without a mother and a father who was always so enthralled in his work wasn't easy, but i didn't complain then and i won't now."

"you had a happy life?" jimin asked, earning a small snort from the other across from him.

"at the time i believed i was happy, because i never told myself to be sad. if i felt sad i destroyed it and forced myself to be happy. when i did that, i sort of became unaware of the emotions a healthy human was supposed to have. but when high school came around i met some cool people and they taught me how to feel again. it really helped me with my detective work later, too. before i couldn't handle my emotions, but now i'm so keenly aware of them i can control them and bend them to how i please, i guess you could say."

jimin nodded, sort of understanding what he meant. he started to see small similarities between them, nothing too big but just tiny enough for jimin to feel closer to him. the blond pulled his knees to his chest before he spoke again. "could... you tell me about your first love? do you even believe in love?"

yoongi sighed, licking his lips and resting his chin in his hand. his elbow was propped against his crossed legs as he stared at the curious boy.

"i believe in love. i believe everyone has someone out there for them, no matter the circumstances. my experience with love has always been dull, to be honest. i've had relationships with people, men and women alike, but they never really made me want to become a better person or even feel anything different."

"is that how you see love? wanting to be better?"

yoongi nodded. "having feelings for someone is great and all, but i think it's truly special when that someone you like makes you want to be a better version of yourself. because what's love if you don't love yourself? self love is very important, jimin. you have to be able to accept yourself and your flaws to allow others to do the same. you have to be able to sit back and look at yourself and see everything you are, and everything you aren't. acceptance is the key to everything. once you accept yourself, love yourself, you can speak your truth."

"my truth?" he questioned. "how do i know my truth?"

yoongi smiled again and reached out to grab jimin's hand. he held it in his palm softly, the warmth it emitted felt calming to jimin. "you'll know your truth. i won't know it, but you'll be able to feel it."

"so what's your truth, yoongi?"

the detective raised his hand, curling all fingers but his index and pressing it against his lips. it was a secret, jimin understood, but he couldn't help but question what it was. yoongi was mysterious, talking all philosophical about love and his life. but jimin guessed that's why he trusted him so much. he felt welcoming.

jimin crawled over to yoongi and the man instinctively opened his arms to allow the other to sit in his lap. jimin made himself small and rested his head in yoongi's neck, and yoongi's arms wrapped carefully around his body. hands rubbed kind circles into his skin, soothing any of the uneasiness he might have felt. jimin could hear yoongi's heartbeat. it was starting to pick up. he decided not to comment on it, and instead he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be lulled. maybe this was why jimin trusted him so much; he felt like home.

smelled like it, too.