Seventh Horcrux

Harry Potter vs. Dolores Umbridge (Pt. 1)

I was two months into my latest attempt at brewing Felix Felicis when my home fell on its side.

"Gah!" I cried, vanishing the potion from my robes and the floor before it starting eating its way through again. I got up, unlatched the entryway, and crawled onto the floor outside.

"What is the meaning of this?" I said, staggering to my feet.

Hermione didn't even look up from her book. "Your trunk fell off the shelf."

I hastily took in my surroundings. Hermione sat primly on a seat, reading this year's Charms textbook. Meanwhile, Ron, Ginevra, Luna, and Longbottom were playing a particularly volatile game of Exploding Snap. "…We're on the train."

"Of course we are," Ginevra said.

"Why didn't anyone inform me that we were returning to Hogwarts?" I snapped.

Luna crawled away from the game, peering into my trunk curiously.

Ron said, "We couldn't get in to tell you. You locked us out."

"Of course I did. You kept trying to steal me from my bed." I waved my hands around in frustration.

Hermione flipped a page in her book. "To protect you."

"And I locked it in order to protect myself from you." I accioed my wand, sick of gesturing like a Muggle.

"You don't have a Floo in there. How were we supposed to get you?" Ron said.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?"

Luna looked in my general direction. "Do you mind if I go inside?"

"Yes, go ahead." I waved my wand dismissively.

Ron gaped. "What? She's allowed to go inside but we're not?"

"She has yet to attempt my kidnapping," I said.

Ginevra beamed up from her continued game with Longbottom. "I haven't tried to kidnap you yet, Harry."

"Yes, I just don't want you in my home," I said.

Longbottom opened his mouth, glanced at the wand still in my hand, and shut it again.

"I don't think I would like living in here very much," Luna called from my trunk. "It's not very cozy, and it's rather cold."

"Heat disrupts the brewing process."

I glared at Hermione because this latest incident was almost certainly the result of her vengeance. "…which reminds me. You ruined three months of work."

She groaned. "You're not seriously trying to make Felix Felicis again?"

"I've figured out the secret to making the most potent batch in existence," I declared.

Hermione pursed her lips. "You'll be lucky if you can make it at all. That's a very advanced potion, Harry. Most Potions Masters can't even brew it."

"Exactly."

"Excuse me?"

"It takes incredible luck for anyone to successfully brew it. I suspect that luck is actually an ingredient. The insane amount of luck necessary for me to do it would therefore add to the quality of the potion. In fact, it may actually be stealing my luck for later use, thus leading to my many failures."

"Harry," Hermione said, "that's stupid and –"

"–just the sort of thing that magic does!" Ginevra cried.

"She's got you there, 'Mione," Ron said.

Longbottom mumbled, "Makes more sense than Potions usually does."