forty six

333 27 6
                                    

kim yugyeom

"everyone thinks we're mad at them," bambam explains while absentmindedly strolling through instagram. 

"did you explain that we just wanted to spend more time together alone after months of avoiding each other?" 

"of course i did but our friends are gay and gays are dramatic," bambam laughed and i caught myself smiling too. i didn't realize the little things i missed about bambam, not until now. 

"mhm you have a point," i say, "but jinyoung is right across the street."

"jinyoung would murder us if it wasn't illegal," bambam comments, throwing his phone on my bed.

"are you okay? you seem upset?" 

"i just have a lot on my mind," bambam replies, his voice getting softer as he spoke, "it's been a hell of a few months."

"wanna talk about it some more?" i ask.

"there's something i want to ask you." 

"about?" 

"nina," bambam stares me right in the eye, "are you two together?" 

"no," i answer, "not anymore." 

"why? you seem so happy with her," bambam smiles but its obviously forced. 

"don't smile," i state, "we broke up because we realized we would be better of friends and because i had feelings for someone else." 

bambam's expression changed to one of sadness, "oh really?"

"yeah," i smile, "wanna know who it is?" 

"not really," he rolls his eyes looking away, "i still have feelings for you, ya'know?:

"well its a good thing i love you isn't it, bambam?" i quickly say.

"yugyeom?" 

"yeah?" 

"i gotta go," bambam quickly says, jumping out of the window. 

i feel my heart sink a little as he leaves.

he didn't believe me, most likely. but i don't blame him. 

i blame myself for letting this situation continue so long.

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