Study Buddies II

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by heyyybrooo

by heyyybrooo

Rich's POV

I don't know what to do. Michael has his head on my shoulder. I like it. But it scares me. I don't know why. I lightly nuzzle my face into his hair. I smile just a little. This feels nice. It feels right. Michael shifts. He turns his head so our faces are almost touching. I feel his breath. We're really close right now. I feel my heart beating. Then Micheal does something that makes my heart stop altogether. He leans in.

Michael's POV

With a sudden boost of confidence I lean into Rich. I feel him freeze. Our lips connect. I run my hands up his back. My fingers weave their way into Rich's hair. Rich places his hands on my waist. I deepen the kiss. I smile. He smiles. Then, I lightly push him down onto my bed. He settles into my pillows. I kiss him more. Harder this time. He stops smiling. He stops kissing. His mouth is frozen shut. He isn't moving. I pull away. I say, Is everything okay? Rich is pale. He's breathing hard. Like hyperventilating or something. Then he does something no one has ever seen Rich Goranski do. He starts crying. At first it's just soft tears. But then it's not. Then it's hard sobbing.

Rich's POV

When Michael pushes me onto his bed I stop. I don't mean to. My body involuntary freezes. The kissing had felt good. But not anymore. That's when panic set in. I couldn't control my breathing. My mind started racing. What if my dad found out? He would beat me! Or kill me! Or send me away! He'd try to fix me! I need to be fixed this isn't right! I can't I can't I can't I can't! Michael asks, Is everything okay? My head is spiraling. His voice is so gentle. Michael is so kind. He deserves the world. He deserves someone who can be with him. Someone who can kiss him. Someone who will hold his hand in public. Michael deserves more than me. All of my thoughts collect themselves. They pour out in the form of fat, ugly tears. I try to not cry. But then my thoughts take control and it's no hope. I feel myself blubbering. About being sorry. And about my dad. Michael looks stunned. He softly shushes me. His one hand runs through my hair. His other hand finds its way to mine. I like holding Micheals hand. I like it so much.

Michael's POV

I try to get Rich to look me in the eye. He won't do it. I say, Rich, please look at me. He keeps crying. Slowly, his gaze reaches mine. His eyes are bloodshot. I say, Hey, we can stop. Rich takes a deep breath. He nods his head. Rich says, I just don't know what's wrong with me. He sounds sad. Not sad like, I'm really bad at my Chem homework, sad. More like, I feel so broken inside nothing will ever fix me, sad. I wish I could take his pain away. So I say, I wish I could take your pain away. Rich looks away from me. He says, No, you don't want to feel what I'm feeling right now. I think he's right. But I won't say that. I don't know weather to hug him or not. Or if I should give him room. So, I stay still. Rich says, I'm so sorry Micheal. I try to talk. But he continues. He says, You deserve more than me, I'm so sorry. I feel my stomach contort. It's like my insides flipped themselves inside out. It makes me feel sick. I say, Rich, please don't say that. Rich says, It's true Micheal, you know it's true. I don't know why he says this. But I don't like it. Like, at all. I like Rich. I like him so much. No. No I don't. I love Rich. I say, Rich. Then I hesitate before I say, I love you. The words come out shaky. But I mean what I say. I love him. Rich's breath hitches. His head swivels to look at me. Rich asks, Really? I nod. I say, Really. He says, oh my god. It's really quiet. I almost can't hear it. Then he stutters, I think, I think I love you too. We stare at each other for a moment. Rich says, Yeah, I love you Michael. This time Rich leans in. He kisses me. It's a soft kiss. It's gentle. It's not passionate. It's not hot. It's not crazy romantic like in the movies or anything. It's just a kiss. A kiss between two boys. Two boys who love each other.