Be More Chill - Expensive Headphones Oneshots

Heated Arguments

Rich's POV

Michael says, Please just come over. He sounds afraid. I say, Okay I'm coming. I hang up the phone. I grab my phone and check the time. 11:56. Almost midnight. I sneak past my dads room. I see an empty bottle of liquor on his bed. He's collapsed, snoring, shot glass in hand. He's so disgusting. The sidewalks are empty. I didn't think to grab a jacket. The cool night breeze gives me goosebumps. Michael's house isn't that far. It only takes about 15 minutes to walk. I tap lightly on his window. He opens it. I give myself a boost and climb through. Michael's standing in the middle of his room. He says, Rich. His voice sounds strangled and raspy. I look at him. I can tell he's been crying. He runs towards me. I'm embraced in a tight hug. I hug him back. Michael starts crying. I pull away and cup his face in my hands. I ask, What's wrong. He shakes his head. I wipe his tears. I ask, Are your moms home? He says, No. His voice is weak. It's sad. I say, Let's sit down. I pull him to his bed. We both sit. I say, Now tell me what's wrong. Michael chokes out, Panic attack. I sigh. I hug him again. I don't pull away from the tight embrace. I ask, What happened?  He says, Rich, I won't wanna hide anymore. He ends the hug to wipe his eyes again. I ask, What do you mean? But I know what he means. He wants to come out. I can't. I won't. Michael says, I want to tell people about, us. He puts emphasis on the word us. I shake my head no. I say, I can't Michael. He grabs both of my hands. He says, Please, we can do it together. I look away from him. I say, No. My voice is low and serious. My heart is beating like crazy. Michael crosses his arms. Now he looks frustrated, not sad. He says, Rich, you're being ridiculous. Something in me snaps. I start to yell. I say, No Michael, you're being ridiculous! I thought Michael would look hurt. Instead he just matches my anger. He starts yelling too. Michael says, We've been dating for months! He doesn't give me a chance to respond. He says, It's not fair for you to hold me back from coming out, I want to come out Rich! Logically, I know he's right. But his words make me furious. I yell, You could never understand Michael! He yells back, Then try to explain it to me Rich, stop pushing me out! I say, You will never know how it feels to spend your days in silent fear and your nights in lonely prayer! Michael's expression changes. He looks sad. I can see his eyes tearing up. I know I should stop yelling. But I don't. I say, You will never know how it feels to pray every night for these feelings to go away and wake up the same! All Michael says is, Wow.

Michael's POV

Rich's words stun me. Part of me is devastated. Devastated that Rich felt this way and never told me. Devastated he thinks I've never felt his pain. But another part of me is angry. Angry that he thinks he's the only one suffering right now. Angry that he's taking his pain out on me. I want to be strong for him.  I try not to cry. But I do. They're tears of sadness and anger and frustration. Rich keeps yelling at me. I don't know what to say to him. Would never say it, but it's times like this I see his dad in him. All I can say is, Wow. That seems to catch Rich off guard. Since he stops yelling for a moment I take the chance to start. I start out just sounding angry but I soon escalated to yelling. I say, I know what you want Rich. He tries to interject but I cut him off. I say, You want a trophy bride and children and to settle down with white picket fences and a golden retriever, you want to be normal! I say, I'm not what you want Rich, I know that! I should stop yelling. Rich looks genuinely hurt. But it feels good to yell back. I say, But what role am I supposed to play? I say, Do you love me or am just I a phase? My words have an effect. Rich starts to cry. Now we're both crying. I say, Do you think I'm here to damn you or can I help my navigate this maze we're both going through! I say, You're not the only one whose confused and scared, just because I'm from an accepting household doesn't mean I'm not suffering too! I stop. Now rich is really crying. Harder than I am. His shoulders shake violently. He holds his head in his hands. He says something. But it's muffled. I think it was, I'm sorry. I grab his hands. He looks at me. He doesn't look angry anymore. He doesn't even look that sad. He just looks sorry. Devastated. All of the anger drains from my body. He says, Michael, I'm so sorry. I say, No, I'm sorry. He pulls me into a kiss. It's damp with tears. But it's tender. I melt into him. He does the same. I run my hands through his hair. His hands move to my waist. I sigh into the kiss. After a while we break away from each other. We just sit. Our foreheads rest against each other's. Rich whispers, I love you. I say, I love you more. Rich says, I love you most. I laugh softly. We stay like that for a long time. I don't ever want to move. After a while Rich breaks the silence. He says, We can come out if you want. His voice is shaky but sure. I shake my head vigorously. I say, No, we can wait. Rich asks, Are you sure? I say, Yeah, we don't have to be in a rush, we'll take it slow. Rich says, Thank you. He starts crying again. I say, Don't cry, love. Rich smiles. He asks, What did I do to deserve you Michael?