Selected: Part 3 - Love and Lace

7. THE DEPARTED

I HAD TO GET A grip. I wasn't the most charismatic of the girls, but I knew I was bright and capable of having an impact. But as I opened my mouth to speak, I suddenly regretted the idea I had for the philanthropy project. This all felt too personal to share to the entirety of Illéa, but it was too late to come up with something else now. I took a deep breath. "This is something most wouldn't give a second thought to if they haven't experienced it first hand. Most of you are lucky, in that you're born in one family, and get to stay with that family for life. Now, I get that families aren't always perfect, doesn't everyone deserve a good family, a good home?" I had to explain in little detail as possible my childhood, just enough so they would understand. How I'd been tossed from one abusive household to another, and the terrible orphanage I was put in between them.

The adoption and foster systems needed to be completely reassessed and changed. There had to be more resources allocated to them. In the adoption home, we never had any toys, or clean clothes, and it felt as though we were forgotten by the rest of the world. If we not young enough, or not pretty enough, we'd stay there for what seemed like forever. I wasn't good with budgeting, but I came up with numbers of how much a project like this would need, and I believed it was more than possible. During my presentation, I stumbled over my words, and dropped my notes. And yet, this had been my life, so I knew every word by heart. I had kept my last name, so I wondered if my biological parents, or my former foster parents, would recognize me now, how they'd feel, and if it mattered. When I sat down, I felt as though every last bit of energy had been drained out of me, but I'd done the best I possibly could.

For the rest of the presentations, I didn't have as much focus as I'd had before, but I listened as attentively as possible all the same. Mai had the wonderful idea of having free medical supplies available for Seven and Eights, who lived in sometimes unsanitary conditions and would be target to infections. She also proposed to fund better children hospitals for the lower castes. All in all, she sounded smart and poised as always, but her budget calculations for the project were a bit unclear. I felt bad for Claire; she had been so helpful to me, lending me books for my presentation. We'd even practiced with each other, and she had sounded so great then. In front of the cameras though, she seemed even more nervous than I was. She read off a paper most of the time, avoiding eye contact, and you could barely hear her. She had the idea of offering free, fun activities at the libraries for children and teens of the lower castes. Most of us didn't grow up with toys or anything entertaining to do, so it was a really good idea, but by the end of the presentation, the people in the recording studio wore confused expressions.

I knew there would be an elimination after this, it only made sense as the one who became queen would have her project actually put into place, so it needed to be something that was possible and beneficial. More than ever, these projects would have those who care for social issues root for their favorite. I hoped some had managed to understand Claire's intentions, and that they wouldn't hold her shyness against her. This Report felt like the longest we'd ever had during the Selection, as it had all been about us. Finally, the last girl for the day was Shannon, who was the opposite of shy. She had no posters, no graphs, no notes; just one, crumbled up paper which she carefully unfolded.

She didn't get very far in her presentation. From the moment she start talking about the war, and the draft, everyone tensed up. They cut her off before she could show the note from the rebels and talk about the use of illegal soldiers. That ended the report rather abruptly, and if it hadn't been live, they probably would have cut her out of it completely. Shannon struggled and screamed as she was dragged off stage, and we were escorted out too, though more calmly. I caught a glimpse of Ethan before leaving though, and he seemed as tense as the rest of us. I hoped the public wouldn't think too much about what she'd said, as I knew Ethan was working on this situation in his own way, more quietly, and this would just make things more difficult.

Surprisingly, though, it wasn't Shannon who was missing from the Women's room the next day; instead, no one had seen Claire around. Mai, who had been the closest to Claire, was the one to confirm it: she had been eliminated, and the Selection was down to the eight of us. I wondered what made Ethan give Shannon a chance, and not Claire. I needed to talk to him, wanted to spend time with him, but I didn't know how. Before I could send out a note to him though, a maid came for me with one from him. It read simply:

Luna,

If you have time, could you meet with me for a moment please?

I'll be waiting for you in the library, like last time.

Ethan.

I wasn't scared he'd eliminate me, too. No, I knew he cared for me, and my presentation had been good. So, without that worry, I was excited to see him, as it felt like it had been forever since we last spoke. I shut the big, heavy door of the grand library, and Ethan was there, waiting. He was smiling as he took me in, and gestured for me to sit beside him. Although we were right by each other, he turned to face me and took my hand. "I've missed you so much." His voice was a whisper, and I wondered if it was because we were in a library, or if it he meant his words to be more intimate. "I've missed you, too." I said, quiet as well. "Are you still mad at me, after everything?" He was still worried about the little fight we'd had, which seemed so long ago. "I'm not mad." I shook my head, and looked into his eyes, which seemed black as coal in this light. "I am a little confused though, as to why Claire is gone."

He sighed, and slumped back into the couch. "I found her crying this morning. She was embarrassed about her performance last night, though I really didn't hold it against her. But most of all, she went on about never being able to do something like that again. She said it had been the most terrifying thing she'd ever done, and just wanted to be with her family, away from it all. I explained to her that the queen would have to do things like that all the time, and in the end, we both agreed she should go back to her family." I understood. "What of Shannon then?" Half his mouth turned to a smile, but his eyes didn't follow. "She has good ideas and intentions, perhaps just a... strange way of communicating them. My father is displeased with her, and I guess I keep her around partly to spite him, partly because I need to hear these things. She's opened my eyes to a world of issues from the most vulnerable of our people, and for that, I need her here awhile longer."

I couldn't help myself. "Do you love her?" I asked, stupidly. Unexpectedly, he laughed. "Do you really think one man could truly love eight women at once? Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what being in love feels like, but when I know for sure, I'll let you know." I took in his words, loving how sincere he always was with me. By the way he looked at me, I could tell he wanted to ask me something. "Do you..." He interrupted himself. "Actually, I have something else to tell you, but its for your ears only. In two days, Mai will be leaving as well. She's asked me to make it seem as though I've eliminated her, and not that she's left of her own accord, for her parent's sake." Now that things were getting so serious, it felt like all the girls were leaving so quickly.

"Do you know why?" Mai had seemed so intent on winning, back when I'd made that dress for her. "Her project inspired her, and she wants to work in hospitals for areas in need. She's studied all her life for that, and she can't bear giving it up. It's honorable, really, and I wish her all the best." It looked as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulder. Maybe with less girls here, he could truly focus on finding the one, no matter who that might be out of the seven left.