Giftless

Chapter 23

You woke screaming in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, from nightmares of fire and death, and more pain to come. Nightmares of your parents and bullet wounds. Nightmares of smoke.

Loki came bursting in from his room, too startled by your screams to use magic to reach you. He found you sobbing in the middle of your bed, curled in a tight ball, shaking from the nightmares. You couldn't shake the horrors you had seen and relived. It had been worse this time. You had been trapped and dying in the fire and you felt every moment of it all over again.

Loki crawled onto your bed and pulled you into his arms. You didn't resist him, but relished the chill of his body, focusing on that while you tried to stifle your sobs. Loki's cool skin was a sharp contrast from the memories of the fire and helped to ground you in reality.

"I'm here, darling. You're safe. It's ok," he promised while he held you. You were still seeing the images and feeling the fire. You couldn't get it out of your head. You clutched on to him and tried to get the words out. Tried to explain that you were somehow still halfway trapped in the nightmare. Loki, your amazing, wonderful Loki, seemed to understand, though. He held glowing fingertips to your temples. "Let me in, love. Let me see, please, let me help," he whispered. He was asking for a lot of trust and he knew yet.

All you could do was nod. You felt his presence in your mind. It was a strange feeling, but as usual, he was a perfect gentleman and did not venture where he wasn't allowed, didn't try to pry. Somehow he shielded you so you didn't have to see those images anymore, at least not tonight. You didn't hold it against him that he watched your terrible memories of that night. He couldn't help seeing, not with what he was doing to help you.

A moment later, he was out of your head, and you could finally collect yourself and stop sobbing.

"Thank you," you murmured hoarsely, slumping in his arms. He didn't respond, which was strange for him. You moved enough that you could look up at him. "What's wrong?" you asked him gently. You saw the look in his eyes. He was focused on his thoughts.

"Those memories aren't real," he told you finally, his voice was as distant as his eyes.

"What do you mean?" you asked softly, keeping your voice carefully calm. He would talk without censoring his answers if you didn't startle him out of his thoughts.

"Someone has tampered with them. Someone with extraordinary telepathic abilities. I would have noticed before now otherwise. Even I do not have such skill," he shook out of his distant thoughts and looked at you properly. "I hate to even mention this, love, but there is only one way for me to be able to see where the tampering occurred. Some of that memory is real. Some is not," he hesitated. "Can you be brave enough, strong enough, to relive that nightmare once more?" You knew how much it hurt him to ask that. You also knew he wouldn't have if it wasn't the only way.You both wanted to know how your memories had been tampered with and where. "I will be there with you the entire time," he promised.

You nodded. "I see it nearly every night anyway," you reminded him, trying to sound flippant about it, trying to sound unconcerned. Seeing it twice tonight wouldn't be that much worse. Surely, it wouldn't.

"I would never ask. I do not want to subject you to this, but it is the only way." Loki sounded heartbroken and torn by making you relive this.

"I know, Loki. I know you'd never hurt me," you whispered. "Do what you need. I'll be ok," you promised him, sounding more sure than you felt about this prospect. He nodded and kissed your forehead.

"I will make this as easy on you as you am able," he promised. He pressed his lips to your forehead again and you felt his magic roll over you. You succumbed to a deep sleep in under a minute.