Freckles & Curls | MILEVEN AU

fourteen - complicated

song - Falling Like The Stars by James Arthur 

And I need you to know that we're falling so fast
We're falling like the stars, falling in love
And I'm not scared to say those words with you, I'm safe
We're falling like the stars, we're falling in love

As soon as she spotted him, it felt like they were still collapsing into a black hole. He was hunched over the desk in the library, shoulders stiff as if the world was resting on them, hand coming up to scratch through his dark hair carelessly. Their was a constant frown on his face as he stared down at the paper and it broke her heart to know that she put the frown there, something that she never wanted to cause. When he glanced up at saw her, his dark eyes widened with something like hope before he forced his head back down stubbornly, shaking his head slightly to show her that he wasn't happy. Her face fell, fingers plucking the straps of her backpack nervously as she approached his table. Her movement was slow and careful, as if she was walking up to a great battle that she was going to lose, a battle that required precision and care. She did not know what to expect, but all she knew was that she had to speak to him to ease the ache within her bruised heart. The small distance somehow felt like galaxies, as if she crossing the entire universe to find him on the other side. 

"H-Hi" she mumbled awkwardly.

He didn't look up from the table and she felt the smile melt off her face with disappointment. She wasn't expecting anything from him but it still to see him so far away, to know that perhaps he would never forgive her, no matter how she tried to explain everything. Jane had been lying awake that night, trying to work out when everything started to get too complicated. Maybe it was when she first laid eyes on Mike, captivated by the way that his freckles danced when he smiled and made crinkles appear by the side of his eyes. Maybe it was when she first spoke to him, when the universe planned for them to meet in person so that she couldn't hide anymore behind the void and her silent stares. 

"I'm feeling better."

Mike glanced up at her with blank eyes. "Yeah, I can see that."

"Don't be mad at me" she pleaded slightly, "P-Please, I really don't want you to be mad at me. It's probably for something that I can't fix."

He let out a sigh as she sat down beside him. "I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?" her face lit up. 

Mike put down his pencil. "I just wish that you would talk to me, El. I just want to be there for you, whether it is your Dad or something else that is pulling you away from me. I-I just...I thought that things were going well between us. That you knew how I felt...that it felt like something really great was beginning...you know?"

"It was" she shook her head, "It is, Mike."

His own eyes turned pleading. "I really want to believe that, El. B-But how is anything going to happen if you can't tell me anything? If you lie to me?"

"I'm really sorry" she whispered. 

"But?" he asked, raising his eyebrows slightly at her. 

Jane sighed, fiddling with her small fingers as she felt his eyes on her. She knew that she needed to keep him in the dark for his safety and her own, but she couldn't lose him again. The days that they spent apart felt so wrong, as if the universe itself was telling her that she was always meant to be connected to him. Perhaps if they were molded together like binary stars, she wouldn't be able to stay away from any longer. She spoke up hesitantly, trying to work out how to dance around the subject playfully as if it wasn't important, knowing that it was more important than anything to him. All he wanted to know was why she kept running away, why they couldn't get anywhere when everything began going in the right direction.