Freckles & Curls | MILEVEN AU

twenty eight - meant to be

song - Us by James Bay

~"Tell me when the light goes out
That even in the dark we will find a way out
Tell me now 'cause I believe in something
I believe in us"~

After all of the years that she spent trapped in her own hell, it took a lot of things away from her. It took away her ability to see the good in herself, to have a normal childhood, but most importantly - it made her truly believe that she didn't deserve anything. Although she could watch the sunrise without brass bars breaking up the colors, she struggled to believe that this was the life that she deserved. It would be hidden within the little moments : like whenever she was enjoying an ice cream sundae at Scoop's Ahoy, walking home and feeling the wind running through her hair, or smiling down at the grade on her Biology quiz. But it was within the important moments that she found herself wondering, was it truly something that she was worthy of? Jane would be woken up by her real father, the gruff man smiling at her with a softness that he never showed anyone else, telling her that breakfast was waiting at the table and she would wonder - do I really deserve this? Mike would be rambling on about something that she would never understand, his dark eyes twinkling with passion and joy as he played with her fingers and she would wonder - do I really deserve this? 

It was a Friday night when she found herself answering the question, a familiar knock interrupting the silence on her bedroom door - his head popping through to look at her. "It's 10 pm, kid. You wanna watch Miami Vice?"

Her enthusiastic nod was the only reply that he needed. 

Through the minutes of waiting for Hop to cook the popcorn on top of the stove, she found herself burying deep within the blankets on the couch. Her Dad soon sat beside her, the warmth of his shoulder bleeding into her skin - reminding her of the simple fact that throughout all of the years of uncertainty, they had created something close to a family. He shoveled popcorn in his mouth instantly, sipping his beer before handing Jane her coke in return. While she usually found herself staring wide-eyed at the crimes being solved, victims being brought justice - her eyes kept flickering back to the burly man beside her. 

She spoke up quietly. "Do you love me?"

His hand froze midway to his mouth, eyes glancing at her with hidden panic, but confusion that was laid right out on the table. It took a couple of moments before he spoke, reaching for the remote so that he could pause the television. 

"Why would you ask that?" he questioned, frowning, "...I've told you that I love you before. Don't you feel happy here anymore?"

She shook her head. "No, I am happy."

He frowned. "Then what-"

"He always told me that he loved me."

"Brenner?"

"Papa."

A deep sigh left his lips as he scratched his beard. "Look, kid...I know that you thought that for a long time, but he isn't your father...he never-"

"I know" her eyes squeezed shut, fists clenched, "...but he was. He may not have ever been related to me by blood and he may never have loved me...but he was all I had for a long time. He was the only father that I ever had and...and...for a long time, I thought that he really loved me. He told me how amazing I was...how I could do these amazing things and I-I always thought that he really loved me underneath it all. It's just...hard."

 A hand was placed over her own. "I know, kid."

The smallest hint of a smile flickered over Jane's face, "Mike told me that he loved me a while ago...he told me that he will always love me, even if my powers don't come back."