Haikyuu! x Reader!

The Letter

    This is a Bokuto x Genderless Reader. Hope you enjoy and please give constructive criticism. Warning-there are mentions of self harm/suicide in this one.
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     "Do you remember those times? The times where you lifted me up in the air by my waist with the happiest grin of your life. In those times I smiled. Smiled relentlessly because you were my reason to be happy.

      You were my light to guide me through the dark. I cannot thank you enough for that. Though, just your light wasn't enough, my dear. You were the support I'd never received. You stood like a pillar in my storm. I'm still clueless as to why you decided to stand the weather.

      Regardless, I thank you. For all of your love. You're not to blame, so don't allow yourself such thoughts. You never were. It was those who, without rest, continued to hurt me. I know the way I chose was selfish. I'm sorry I had to leave you, love.

      I was undeserving of your affection. 'Why did he choose me?', I constantly asked myself. Those thought led me to the scars.

      As though I didn't have enough from my life before you, I thought you were faking your love for me. I truly did. After all who could love such useless scum as me? That's what I was told every time I went home.

      I eventually gave up. Though, for your sake, I acted as if nothing in the world could disturb me. I'm sorry I lied to you, my love.

      I love you, Bokuto, just know this. No matter what, my love for you will never fade. Just as you never faded from my storm.

      Love, (Y/n) (L/n)"

      He crumpled the letter as tears streamed down his face. He turned his head to your motionless body on the stretcher as they were taking you to the morgue. "WHY?" he screamed, agony pulling at his vocal chords.

     
     "WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS? THEY WERE STRUGGLING SO MUCH!" he yelled in anguish. His anger soon turned to despair, as he sobbed next to the hospital bed you had died on.

      "Why did they step out onto that street? They saw the traffic. If only I had known something was wrong," he said between sobs. With each sob he gave, his entire body shuddered.

     Akaashi put his hand on Bokuto's shoulder. He didn't say anything, just offered his company. Bokuto locked Akaashi in an embrace. He balled his hands into Akaashi's shirt and put his face in his shoulder.

      Akaashi rubbed small circles on Bokuto's back as his body was racked with torment over your death. Akaashi, too, shed tears over your death. While you had meant so much to Bokuto alone, you had much meaning to him as well.

      You were one of Akaashi's closest friends. You were Bokuto's lover. You meant more to them than you knew.

  ~~timeskip to your funeral~~

      It was as though Bokuto never ran out of tears for you. His eyes cried silent rivers as he stood over your casket.

      Akaashi stood next to him, saying silent wishes for your departed soul. He wished for your eternal happiness in the afterlife. Even your abusive parents showed, though they didn't cry. They only came for the formalities and pity that followed your departure.

      Bokuto kept repeating the same thing over and over beneath his breath: "Why, (Y/n)? I love you. The letter was wrong. I never faked my love for you. I love you."

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I ALMOST CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS. HAVE A NICE DAY LOVELIES